Erenne
by Mystwalker
Summary: Kaylin loved children. That was no secret. But she wasn't particularly sure how she felt about this situation. In the first place, it should have been impossible. But in her life impossible was a word that had ceased to have any meaning. Nightlin
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara. The sole purpose of this fic is to release these plot bunnies into the world, and to help populate this section with Fanfiction.

Note: This story isn't about how Kaylin and Nightshade _got _together, because that isn't the idea I had, and I don't want to write the huge amount of words it would take to actually GET them together. I'll leave that to Michelle Sagara, since for once, I'm writing for a couple that actually seems to have some canon support for them. (I know, it's weird, given my track record for crack pairings, lol.)

This is set a few years after the timeline that the Elantra books are set in. I tried to keep this as spoiler-free for _Cast in Ruin _as possible, but some things, like the Barrani curse word she discovers, were too sweet to not add in.

And a quick note about Severn, I like him as a character and I really do feel sorry for him about Kaylin, but I'm a Nightlin shipper, so…yeah. I did attempt to tie up the Severn loose end a little in this case, and I hope that doesn't put anyone off to this story. I will attempt to explain how this happens later on. And you're all free to name the girl he ends up with. She doesn't appear in this chapter, and though I know what her personality will be like, I haven't named her.

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 1**

Kaylin felt as if the ground had suddenly dropped out from beneath her, or as if the relatively sturdy wooden chair that the midwives' guild had provided for her would suddenly not be enough to bear her weight. Given the fact that she had sat here before to catch her breath after assisting with particularly difficult deliveries, the thought was unsettling. She clasped her hands together, very pointedly staring at a point on the floorboards instead of the woman currently speaking to her.

She was fairly certain that what the woman was saying was impossible—certain to the point that she would have been willing to bet her entire salary against it if it had ever come up in the office betting pools. _But_, she realized, with a stubborn scowl, _impossible _was a word that had steadily begun to lose its meaning over the past few years. Taking a Barrani true name for herself? Impossible. Meeting the Emperor…without getting eaten? Impossible. Willingly living in Castle Nightshade? Impossible. Getting promoted? Well, she would have bet that _that _was impossible.

And that was barely scratching the surface.

"Kaylin," said the woman, a little more insistently, and causing her to look up. The woman's frown softened slightly at the edges. "You should come in once in a while for a few quick checks to make sure everything's going smoothly." Her eyes flicked over to the door. "Does your Corporal know?"

She grimaced, getting up and reaching for her coat. The woman handed it to her, and she slipped it on over her shoulders. She really couldn't blame her for her assumption, but explaining the truth was going to be a little tricky. "He's not _my _Corporal," she said. "And he's married."

The midwife looked unconvinced, and Kaylin winced, not really being able to blame her. She must have seen dozens of cases where _that _wasn't exactly a mitigating factor. "He's not…it's not him." Her face was burning. She could tell. She shrugged her shoulders. It was a fief shrug, and her way of dodging the next question. "No, he doesn't know."

"I…see…" said the midwife. "I have some herbs that'll help with nausea if you start needing it. You know you're more than welcome to come by."

At the moment, Kaylin wanted nothing more than to end the conversation and leave. She nodded once, thanking the woman, and hurried out the door to where Severn was waiting. The midwives' guild had more or less plucked her off the street at the end of her beat to help with an emergency, and as men weren't generally allowed into the building unless they were fathers or relatives, Severn had to wait by the entrance. She was grateful that they didn't make him wait outside in the cold, at least.

He stood leaning against the doorframe, and although he didn't say as much, Kaylin could sense his impatience to get home. The healing had taken a little longer than it should have, partly because her magic was being so stubborn, and partly because she had had to stop and ask the midwife for…help with her current situation. Her face was still warm from _that _conversation, and her mind was still a tangled jumble of thoughts. Alright, so maybe she had had her suspicions, but she had expected them to be eased, not _confirmed_.

"Ready to go?" asked Severn, frowning.

"Yeah," said Kaylin, fiddling with the buttons on her coat. "Sorry for keeping you."

He shrugged, a fief gesture, and the two of them headed out the door. Almost at once, the chilly winter wind hit them, and Kaylin instinctively pulled her coat tighter around herself. She had been colder than this as a child, and at least now she _had _a coat, and a place to sleep that was decently warm, but that didn't mean it was pleasant. "Office?" he asked.

She nodded once. "Marcus'll want a report."

Severn frowned, looking up at the sky. "It'll be dark pretty soon…" he commented.

Kaylin cursed. She had been hoping to delay her return to the fiefs until she had collected her thoughts enough. She was a famously bad liar, and Nightshade was Barrani. He would sense her unease almost the instant she crossed the Ablayne.

"Can I stay with you?" she asked. "I really don't want to head back now."

Severn's eyes darkened, and his brows rose. He glanced over at her. "Kaylin…" he said.

She shook her head, immediately knowing what he thought was wrong. "No," she said. "It's nothing like that. He didn't do anything to me. I just…don't want to see him right now, that's all."

Severn looked unconvinced. Kaylin would have told him what happened, but they were nearing the Halls now, and she wanted at least a little bit of time to come to terms with it. "Look, I'll explain it later," she said. "Please? I'll even babysit Kaden. I know you need a break." She tried to ignore the pleading tone her voice too. Severn, however, relented, nodding once at her.

"I'll mirror home from the office," he promised, as they reached the Halls of Law.

Kaylin nodded back. The guards at the door—they were Swords this time, and Kaylin didn't know their names—let them pass without too much hassle and they made their way into the office. She noted that Marcus's desk only had a few more furrows in it than it had when they left this morning. It must have been a relatively good day. The pile of paperwork on it, though, wasn't getting any smaller, and from the way Marcus was glaring at it, there was probably something on there that he didn't like.

She immediately thought back to all of the things she had done in the past week, just in case the offending report had something to do with her. Since she couldn't think of anything and he wasn't…presently…growling at her, she let it slide, exhaling slowly and looking up at him as she and Severn stood at attention at his desk.

"Corporal," said Marcus.

To her credit, she didn't ask him which Corporal he was talking about, content to let Severn do to the talking this time. She half-listened as he went on to report, her eyes roving over the office. Caitlin was there, engrossed in conversation with a couple of human Hawks. She caught her eye and gave Kaylin a motherly smile, one that she half-heartedly returned. Her eyes landed on Teela and Tain, standing by the window. She felt her stomach churn. She really didn't want to talk to anyone about this, but she knew she had to at least talk to someone who was female, someone she knew well, and someone who understood Barrani customs. And since she really didn't feel like talking to two different people, there was only one person in the room who fit all three criteria.

"Corporal Neya, are you even paying attention?" growled Marcus. She quickly snapped her eyes back towards him, lifting her chin slightly and exposing her throat. Marcus growled at her, but didn't say anything further, and the two of them were dismissed for the day, with one threatening reminder of her next magic lesson with Sanabalis. She didn't say anything, because the thought of using magic right now made her distinctly uncomfortable. Her last attempt, besides the healing today, wasn't exactly something she wanted the Dragon Lord to know about. Severn left to use the mirror, and she took a deep breath, steeling her courage as she went over to the two Barrani Hawks.

"Teela, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked.

The two of them looked up at her. Their eyes were green…for the moment, but they exchanged glances with each other. Finally, Teela rose gracefully and nodded, and the two of them walked to the other side of the room. She wasn't sure it was far enough to get out of Tain's hearing, but at least Tain had the decency to turn around and _pretend _he wasn't listening.

Fair enough. Whatever she told Teela would probably get to Tain anyway.

"What did you want to talk about, kitling?" asked Teela.

Kaylin took a deep breath. "I went to the midwives' guild today. They had an emergency…" She trailed off. Teela frowned at her, but her eyes didn't change color.

"Yes," she said. "And?"

"I…well…I was having some…suspicions…so I asked the leader of the guild…and…?"

Flecks of blue began to appear in the Barrani Lord's eyes. "Yes, kitling," said Teela, her tone a warning. "_And?" _

She took a deep breath again and exhaled very slowly. It didn't help. "…She said I was pregnant."

Kaylin could count the number of times she had seen Barrani eyes shift from emerald green to bright blue that fast. Usually, it didn't turn out well for the people they were looking at. She almost took a step back. Almost.

"That's impossible," said Teela.

"You're telling me," mumbled Kaylin. "But it made sense…at least it explains why my magic's acting up."

"Your magic?"

"I…set a room on fire trying to light a candle the other day," she said, still wincing in memory. It had been a room full of books. Old books. To say Nightshade hadn't been pleased would be an understatement. If she wasn't already used to seeing blue-eyed Barrani from all the odd occurrences she'd been put through over the past few years, she might have been terrified. He had remarked to her, as he gracefully stamped out a few embers from a book not as badly damaged, that it might be to her benefit to ask Lord Sanabalis to revert to the candle part of her lessons. "Teela, what do I do?"

"Well, have you told him yet?" asked Teela.

"No, I haven't told him yet. I—." She froze. The mark on her cheek suddenly warmed, making its presence known.

_Erenne. _

Teela muttered a few choice curse words under her breath, noticing her expression. Kaylin turned away from her, focusing on the voice she could hear in her mind.

_Um…yes? _

Not her most convincing answer.

_The sun is setting. _

It wasn't hard to sense the subtle reprimand in his voice. Kaylin winced.

_I got delayed, _she said, _There was an emergency in the midwives' guild. _

She sensed his silent irritation. Normally, he would send Andellen to escort her back to the Castle at night, but she knew that Andellen couldn't be spared right now, due to some issue in the fief. Of course, it would help if she knew exactly _what _the issue was, but true to Barrani form, neither of them were very forthcoming.

_I'll stay at Severn's for the night, _she said. _And I'll be back after work tomorrow. _

Nightshade wasn't pleased with her answer, but he said nothing, and she felt the connection fade away. Kaylin sighed, her shoulders slumping as the warmth from the mark disappeared.

"He knows you're hiding something now," said Teela. Kaylin jumped, turning towards her.

"How…?" she asked.

"Because, _kitling_," said Teela. Her eyes were still blue, but her expression was less outraged and more contemplative now. "_I _could tell that you were hiding something, and I couldn't hear the conversation." She frowned. "You need to tell him. He already won't be pleased that you've spoken to me, the midwife, and Corporal Handred first."

Kaylin resisted the urge to inform Teela that she hadn't _yet _told Severn anything, nodding once. It was probably obvious that she was _going _to tell Severn at some point anyway. Teela sighed and raised a hand.

"Before you ask, no, I can't predict how he'll react. And I can't predict what…traits the…child will inherit. This has never happened before." Reading the expression off Kaylin's face, Teela went on. "Yes," she said. "There have been instances in the past where Barrani have taken an interest in mortals. They are few, and far between. None of those instances have ever resulted in offspring."

Kaylin fell silent for a long moment.

"Well…" she said, already knowing the answer to the question. "…Did any of those mortals have Barrani names?"

"No," said Teela, sharply. "And that is the _only _reason why I don't think you, and the midwife, are completely insane."

"You think the name is the reason why this happened?" asked Kaylin.

Teela raised an eyebrow. "I think you and I both know the _reason _why this happened," she said, causing Kaylin to turn red. Teela cut off her protest with a raised hand. "We don't yet know how the name affects you." And because Kaylin was expecting an answer, she nodded. "Yes, that would be my best guess."

"How long—," Kaylin began, but Teela silenced her with a look.

"About as long as in humans," she hissed under her breath.

A few moments later, Severn stepped out of the office, looking at them. If he thought anything about the bright blue glare Teela was sporting, he said nothing, turning towards Kaylin.

"Ready?" he asked.

She nodded once, and the two of them began to walk back out into the city.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

I had some time today, so I decided to type up the second chapter. I'm gonna try and get as much done as I can before NaNoWriMo starts in November. Nightshade's reaction is going to be in the next chapter. I wanted to squeeze it in here, but it was getting really long, so you'll have to wait till next update to see that.

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 2**

Severn's new place was in one of the city's residential districts. It wasn't a particularly expensive district, but it was better than what Kaylin could have afforded had she been living on her salary. Which was unfair, because she was fairly certain that she and Severn now had about the same salary. She didn't mention it to him because voicing the thought would draw another lecture about budgeting from him, and the point was more or less moot now, so she didn't want to hear it.

She had explained the situation, awkwardly and haltingly, during the walk from the Halls of Law. Severn listened quietly at her side, and whatever he thought about the mess she had gotten herself into this time, he said nothing, a deep frown on his face. She wondered for a moment what he had to have been feeling. She knew that he had loved her once, and she couldn't begin to guess at how her eventual choosing of Nightshade had made him feel, so she avoided discussing things like this with him when she could. But by the time they reached his house, her face was burning, and she was stubbornly staring at the ground at her feet. Teela's words came back to her and her stomach twisted again, nervously. If she was having this much of a difficulty telling Severn, how was she going to tell _Nightshade_?

Everyone would need to be told eventually, she realized, all of the implications rushing through her mind at once. She would need to apply for leave—Marcus would _flip out_—possibly have to put her magic lessons on hold if her magic decided to keep misbehaving, she wouldn't be able to defend herself from Ferals after a while…

By the time she reached the front door, her face had gone from red to pale, and she was chewing on her lower lip. Severn glanced at her, but said nothing, fishing out a key from his pocket and unlocking the door. He opened the door for her and she stepped inside, noting with a slight sense of dismay that his house was neater than her quarters. Her _present _quarters.

The Castle set itself back in order every once in a while without her having to do anything, which was a useful feature, but Nightshade was fast learning that she wasn't exactly the ideal living-mate.

Speaking of living-mates…Kaylin looked around as she hung her coat up on the stand. "Where's Linn?" she asked.

"Out," said Severn. He walked over to the coffee table and bent down to pick something up. "She said she wanted to cook dinner because you were coming."

Kaylin frowned. "Did you tell her she doesn't have to?" she asked.

"I'm sure she knows, but she wants to," said Severn, shrugging. "She likes you. And she thinks you don't come over enough."

Kaylin tried very hard to ignore the note of disapproval in Severn's voice. She was starting to get tired of people subtly scolding her, after the kind of day she had had. Her partner turned towards her, a familiar gold bracer in his hand. He held it out to her and she took it, glaring down at it. The bracer still chose to come to him, for reasons unknown.

"You should probably wear it for now," he said. "While your magic's unpredictable."

Kaylin decided against pointing out that that was more or less _all the time_, snapping the bracer back on. She had gotten better with the basics of it over the past few years, enough so that Sanabalis had finally moved on from the damned candle, but there were still aspects of her magic that she would never understand. Still, she saw his point, and she didn't exactly want a repeat of the library incident. Nightshade had at least been somewhat forgiving. If it had been Marcus and it had happened at the office, or Tiamaris in his fief, or Diarmat just about _anywhere_, or…gods forbid, the _Arkon _in the Royal Library…

Well, she particularly want to think about that.

"Have you thought about how you're going to tell him yet?" asked Severn as Kaylin plopped down unceremoniously on the couch, letting out a sigh of relief and putting her feet up on the coffee table.

"No, I haven't," she said, looking up at him. "How did Linn tell you?"

"Blurted it out as soon as I walked through the door," said Severn, sitting down. "I think she'd been sitting on the news all day and couldn't wait any longer. It nearly gave me a heart attack, though."

Kaylin smiled, because it sounded like her. The two of them had first met the woman that would become Linnaea Handred a few years ago. It hadn't been too long after she had chosen Nightshade, and information about Linn's sister, who had earlier been reported missing, had turned up in a murder she and Severn were investigating. Not wanting to sit around and wait for the results of the investigation, Linn had more or less bullied her way into becoming part of the process, and was present when Kaylin and Severn found and arrested the man who had committed the crime. Her sister was found alive although badly injured, a situation that Kaylin had quickly fixed. Linn had been grateful enough to invite them both to dinner and drop in on them from time to time. Of course, with all of Kaylin's other commitments, more often than not, it ended up just being her and Severn, and the rest was history.

Linn worked as a shopkeeper in a local store, and got off work at about the same time she and Severn usually did, so that was when she usually invited them to do things with her, but that time coincided, unfortunately, with the times when Kaylin had been required to stand at attention in front of an angry Dragon.

If someone would have told her that her etiquette lessons with Diarmat were going to help Severn get a girl, she would have laughed in their face.

"I don't think that's such a good idea…" she said.

"No," agreed Severn. "Not with Nightshade. But, Kaylin, if you want my advice, just tell him. He'll know something is wrong almost immediately, and trying to hide it will only aggravate him."

"Point taken," said Kaylin. She leaned forward and brought her knees up close to herself, covering her face in her hands as she exhaled slowly. "How did I get myself into this?" Severn opened his mouth. "Please," she said, stopping him, "_Please_. Don't answer that."

The door opened, and both Kaylin and Severn looked up. A brown-haired woman stood at the door, pushing against it with her weight to open it as she awkwardly balanced a bag of groceries in one arm and a baby in the other. The two Hawks immediately stood up, Severn grabbing the groceries as Kaylin reached for the baby. Linn handed them both over without protest, letting out a sigh of relief as she closed the door, her breath misting in front of her face.

"It's freezing out there!" she said, tugging her scarf off from around her neck and peeling off her winter coat. "I don't know how you two stand it—walking all day in that. Hello, Kaylin." The last was a bit of an afterthought, but Linn grinned at her, giving her a quick hug. Kaylin shifted the baby to one arm so that she could return it. He took that as an invitation to pop a tiny fistful of her hair into his mouth, and Kaylin immediately straightened up, tugging his hand away.

"No, Kaden," she said.

Kaden leaned back and looked at her with dark eyes that were all too familiar, a frown on his face as if he was trying to figure out what she just said. Apparently, he decided that she meant "Please touch my face instead" because the next thing she knew, he splayed two tiny hands over her cheeks, one hand tugging at her nose.

"Kaden, don't," said Linn, reaching up and taking him from her with both hands. She smiled apologetically. "Sorry about that, Kaylin," she said, rocking him slightly. "He's at the age where he wants to put everything in his mouth."

"It's alright," said Kaylin. "I understand." She reached over and placed her hand on Kaden's dark hair, ruffling it slightly. "He's getting big," she said.

"Mm-hmm," said Linn, "Pretty soon, he'll be all over the place."

She looked like she was going to say something more, but she was interrupted by Severn, who seemed to materialize out of nowhere as he leaned over and took Kaden from her. Linn smiled gratefully, letting her arms fall to her side. "Thanks, Severn," she said. She turned around, walking to the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready in just a minute," she said, stopping at the door to turn and grin at Kaylin. "It's great to see you, Kaylin. You don't come over enough."

Kaylin grimaced. "So I've been told," she said.

From beside her, Severn snickered. She glared.

If he hadn't been holding a baby, she might have punched him.

XxXxX

A few moments later, Kaylin stood leaning against the wall, watching Severn as he sat across from Kaden on the floor. He held out a polished wooden figure in the shape of a horse, something Kaylin had seen him buy from a street vendor on their beat. "It's a horse…" she heard him murmur as Kaden looked on with rapt attention. "I bought it on the street today…"

She smiled. She always liked watching the two of them. It was almost cute, seeing Severn like this. He never used any of that sickeningly sweet baby talk she had heard other parents use, and he didn't coddle Kaden either, but that didn't mean there was no love and affection there. Kaden stared at the horse with the same expression of intense observation that she had often seen on Severn's face, and for a moment, they looked a lot alike.

But Kaden would never need to hide from Ferals in the night, or scrounge for food in the garbage, or freeze in the winter. He would have parents, and if, gods forbid, anything were to happen to Severn and Linn, he had people who would care enough about him to step in and take care of him. He had Kaylin, if it came to that. He would grow up in the City, and while it wasn't the perfect life she had dreamed about as a child, it was still a much better life than what she had grown up with.

He was a lucky kid.

Said lucky kid reached forward, snatching up the carved horse and immediately putting it in his mouth.

A clattering sound came from the kitchen, followed by a sharp 'ow!'. Both Hawks looked up.

"Are you alright?" asked Severn.

"I'm fine!" called Linn. "But I could use an extra pair of hands."

Severn nodded, standing up. "Mind watching him for a second?" he asked, turning to Kaylin. She shook her head, and he headed off to the kitchen. After he had gone, she stared down at Kaden, who had now pulled the toy out of his mouth and was staring at it in his hands. A small smile came to her mouth. She had never minded watching other people's children.

The smile on her mouth turned into a frown, and her hand came down to rest over her abdomen.

Other people's children…

The full gravity of what she had learned today hit her.

It was one thing to take care of other people's children. You could hand them back to their parents or guardians at the end of the day, and you weren't ultimately responsible for the course of their lives. The idea that she was going to be having her own child was scary, the idea that the child was also Nightshade's was scary as well. And the fact that this had never happened before…the fact that they were completely in uncharted territory…_that _was terrifying.

Her hand went up to the mark on her cheek, her fingers lightly tracing the edge. For the first time since she had gotten the news from the midwife, she wished she had gone back instead. The thought came to mind that she _could _actually tell him now, but somehow she had a feeling that this was news that was best told in person.

How would Nightshade react? She was fairly certain that he hadn't been expecting this, and certain as well that even though he had years…_centuries _of experience that she didn't have, this was an area in which he had none. In fact, _she_, in her twenty-five years of life, probably had more experience in this area than he did, and _that _was also scary.

That night, unsurprisingly, Kaylin got very little sleep.

She was also, unsurprisingly, on time for work the next day, considering she had Severn to usher her out of the house. The two of them set off together for the office, and Kaylin knew that at the end of the day, she would have to head back to the Castle. And she would have to tell Nightshade the truth.

She still had no idea how she was going to do that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

And here's the Nightshade chapter! I'll probably slow down a little with updates after this, but I wanted to at least get this far. Here you guys go!

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 3**

A member of the midwives' guild stopped her again at the end of her beat. Kaylin, aware that it was well into the afternoon, and that Nightshade wouldn't take it so well if she had to stay with Severn a second night—and aware of the fact that there were only so many days she could reuse her uniform before it showed—fervently hoped that it wasn't another emergency. But she stopped anyway, and Severn stopped beside her, a silent presence.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Oh, no, nothing's wrong," said the woman, beaming at her. "We heard the news from the guildmaster. This is from us." She held out a small pouch. Kaylin took it, feeling uncomfortable.

"What's this?" she asked.

"It's an herbal tea," said the midwife. "A remedy for morning sickness. Please, take it. It's the least we could do."

She wanted to refuse, but the woman was watching her expectantly, and she realized that she couldn't. Besides, for all she knew, she might be thankful that she hadn't in a few days or weeks. Kaylin thanked her quickly and pocketed the herbs, and she and Severn headed back to the office to give their reports. Severn walked her to the Ablayne. He didn't have to, but she was grateful for the company.

"You have about half an hour till sunset," he said, looking up at the rapidly darkening winter sky. "Will you make it back by then?"

Kaylin nodded. "I'll be fine," she said, although she wouldn't admit to being entirely sure about that. "I'll see you at work tomorrow." Sensing her uncertainty, Severn nodded.

"Good luck," he said.

"Thanks…" she said. He looked as though he was about to say something more, but he nodded, turned, and began walking down the street. Kaylin took a deep breath, stared across the Ablayne, and began walking through the fief of her childhood.

Nobody bothered her on her walk, but then again, nobody would. For one, she wore weapons openly at her side, and she was still wearing the Hawk. For another, Nightshade had made it very clear that she was his, and the open association with the fieflord made most people uneasy around her. They liked her more than they liked Nightshade, liked that he had, in a sense, become a little more lenient (mostly because he was aware of how much she hated the cages)…or at least more secretive about expressing his displeasure, and the brave among them would occasionally approach her with loved ones that needed healing, but she would never be what Tara was to the people of Tiamaris.

It wasn't long until she reached the Castle. Nightshade waited for her outside of the portcullis, his eyes a shade of green that was a little too blue for her taste. She swallowed, remembering that she would have to tell him now. Her mouth went dry, and the words that she had been coming up with on her walk over left her throat.

"_Erenne_," he said, coolly. "I see you've deigned to return today."

She winced. "Were you waiting outside for me yesterday?" she asked.

He said nothing. It was a very loud nothing. Kaylin shifted uncomfortably. "It was an emergency…" she said, quietly.

"I have been informed," he said, "that among mortal couples, it is customary for someone who is delayed to inform the other party so as not to inconvenience them, unless a means of communication is not readily available." He looked down at Kaylin. "…Has someone taken my name from you recently?"

"No…"

"Were you in a situation where it would have been dangerous to use it?"

"No," muttered Kaylin again.

"Ah," he said. "Will you do so in the future?"

"Yes…" said Kaylin.

He nodded and said nothing further, walking over to her and picking her up. He carried her through the portal, sparing her from the usual disorientation that she would have experienced if she walked through on her own. It had gotten a little bit better over the years, but it was still an annoyance. Nightshade said that in time, the Castle would recognize her and the dizziness would stop.

_You are Erenne, _he said, his voice cool in her mind. _It will accept you, in time. _

Given that to an immortal, 'in time' could mean anything from five years to five hundred, it wasn't exactly a comforting thought. He set her down on the other side of the portal, and she walked beside him down the hallway. His eyes were, thankfully, a little more green than blue now. That would probably change in a little while. She stared at him as they walked, wondering how she was going to begin.

"How are things…" he asked, glancing at her, "…in the City?"

"Good," said Kaylin, almost a little too quickly. Nightshade raised an eyebrow slightly, and she was sure he knew that she wasn't telling him something. In true Nightshade fashion, he was probably waiting to see if she would spit it out on her own. "I mean…as good as it gets. Nothing unusual seems to be happening. Severn and I have just been walking our beat."

Well, nothing unusual besides the fact that something had happened that she was sure would send her racial integration teachers into a frenzy.

"I see," said Nightshade, looking away from her.

"The fief?" she asked, because as long as they were talking, she was hoping that inspiration would suddenly strike her about how to bring it up.

He fell silent.

"Andellen…" he finally said. "…is still investigating the current difficulty."

"Any chance you might actually tell me _what _the current difficulty _is_?" she asked.

He said nothing. Kaylin sighed.

"I'll take that as a no," she said. They walked in silence for a few moments. "If it's the border…" Kaylin began.

"It is not, we believe, entirely related to the border."

"Is it the Shadows?" asked Kaylin.

Another very loud nothing. She sighed in frustration as they walked into the set of rooms appropriated for her use. Nightshade didn't need sleep, as far as she could tell, and although he kept his own quarters, Teela had explained to her at one point that even in arrangements such as this, Barrani…couples seldom shared rooms. It took too much trust.

The Castle had been through another one of its periodic resets. Her room was now neat, which meant, she realized, that she was going to have a _great _time finding the rest of her stuff. While the Castle put things back in order, it did not always put things back in order _in the same place_. She was convinced that it did that just to mess with her.

"Are we going to play twenty questions until I figure it out?" she asked, walking over to the wardrobe by her bed and opening it.

"You have already asked more than twenty," was the cool reply.

She grimaced, noticing that several dresses had been conveniently hung next to her Hawk uniforms. Kaylin debated _not _changing into something Nightshade considered more appropriate for the Castle, but she wanted to get on his good side today. She picked up one of the dresses, lifting it from the wardrobe and bringing it back down. She held it out in front of herself, turning around to face the mirror. It was, thankfully, dark. All it showed was her reflection.

He crept up behind her, taking the gown from her hands and putting it aside. His hands landed on her waist and she shivered unconsciously as he turned her around to face him. His mouth landed on hers, and she tilted her face up to meet him, her hands going up slowly around his neck as he pushed her back against the wardrobe, his body flush against hers. In spite of herself, she made a small noise at the back of her throat.

He pulled away from her briefly and opened his eyes. They were violet. That was _so _not the color she wanted to see right now.

"Nightshade," she said, lowering her hands to his shoulders. "Wait. I have to tell you something."

"Can it wait?" he asked.

She hesitated for a moment, before nodding. "Yes," she said, and that was the only word she managed to get out before he was kissing her again. The hands at her waist moved up and down her sides, spreading trails of fire across her skin. His mouth moved from her mouth to her neck, and Kaylin gasped, unconsciously pulling herself closer to him. Her own hands moved from his shoulders to rest against his chest. One of his hands slipped under her shirt, his fingers lightly brushing against her bare skin as he brought his lips back to hers.

And then his hands stilled, and he stopped, pulling away from her just a little. Kaylin frowned in confusion, looking up at him. She looked down, her eyes widening as she realized where his left hand was.

It was resting right over her pocket, over the bulge caused by the midwife's gift.

"_Erenne_," he said quietly, although his voice sounded uncomfortably loud as it echoed in her bedroom. "…What is this?"

Kaylin cursed inwardly. She also, unfortunately, cursed out loud. In Barrani. His brow rose.

"It's nothing…" she said.

"Kaylin…" he began.

She didn't miss the fact that he had called her by her name, and not her title. She sighed. "It's…tea," she said.

"Tea?" he asked.

"A gift from the midwives' guild," she said. She hesitated for a moment, and looked away from him. The violet in his eyes was quickly receding, replaced by a somewhat uncertain greenish-blue. "It's tea that helps with nausea."

"I see…" said Nightshade. "And why would the midwives' guild believe you would appreciate this gift?"

"Because…" said Kaylin. She took a deep breath. "…Because I'm pregnant."

Silence fell over the room. Nightshade said nothing for a few long moments, staring at her. His eyes had widened—he didn't even attempt to conceal his surprise. She kept her eyes on his, watching as the colors in them seemed to shift back and forth—now more green, now more blue. Finally, she felt him take a deep breath, and expel it slowly.

"For future reference, _Erenne_," he said. "That is the sort of news that _cannot _wait."

Kaylin refrained from pointing out that it wasn't like she would be getting more or less pregnant in an hour or so as he withdrew from her. He took her hand, leading her over to the bed. She followed, taking a deep breath as he sat down on it and she sat beside him, facing him. He didn't release her hand, continuing to stare at her.

"Are you certain?" he asked, finally.

She nodded once. "More or less…" she said. "I learned it from the head of the midwives' guild."

"Do you trust her judgment?" asked Nightshade.

Kaylin nodded. "I do…" she said. "She has a lot of experience with things like this. I don't think she's ever been wrong…"

"When did you learn this?"

"Yesterday."

Nightshade's frown deepened, but he said nothing else about it. "What led you to seek the midwife's aid?" he asked.

"My magic…" said Kaylin. "I…was wondering why I was suddenly having a hard time controlling it again, so I looked in a book—." She glared as Nightshade raised an eyebrow in surprise, and continued. "—I looked in a book and it said that female mages tended to have difficulty controlling their magic when they were with child. And, I was already…late, so I wondered…"

She drew her knees up close to her chest, not bothering to take off her boots. If Nightshade disapproved, he said nothing. It was her own damn bed, she thought bitterly. She could do whatever she wanted.

"I know it sounds…"

"Insane?"

"I was going to say impossible," said Kaylin. "But Teela thinks it might have happened because of my…my name…"

Her true name was one of the things she normally avoided discussing with Nightshade, particularly because he didn't have it. She wasn't sure if he knew that Severn did, or how he would react to that if he found out.

"I see…" said Nightshade, his eyes slowly shading to blue. "And when did you consult with Lord Anteela?"

"Yesterday, at the office," said Kaylin. "I needed to talk to someone…and I didn't know how I was going to tell you yet."

"Who else have you spoken to about this?" he asked.

"Severn," she said. His hand tightened around hers briefly, his eyes becoming just a little bluer. "No one else." She didn't mention that the midwife had told the rest of the guild, and that she was willing to bet that Teela had told Tain. She looked up at him. "Are you mad?"

"If you mean, am I angry about the situation, no. However…"

"I should have come to you first," finished Kaylin. "I know. I'm sorry. I was scared." Still was, if she was willing to be honest with herself. Nightshade frowned.

"Understand, _Erenne, _that I did not believe this was possible," he said. "Had I known that this could happen, I would have taken appropriate precautions to avoid it."

"I know…" said Kaylin. She took a deep breath. Her shoulders were shaking. She considered herself a strong person—she had faced down Dragons, Shadows, Barrani, and forces she didn't understand without going completely crazy, but for reasons she couldn't fully explain, she felt like crying now. She didn't, though. Her eyes were dry as she stared down at a point on the carpet. "So, what happens now?"

"There are several ways of ending the issue, _but—_," he said as Kaylin turned around to voice her protests. Loudly. "—I am aware that that is not something you would consider. I will admit that this is not an area in which I have much experience. I have never had any interest in mortal children, and among the Barrani, children are rare. However, what's done is done. If you wish to keep the child, I will attempt to learn."

Kaylin felt her shoulders sag with relief. She let out the breath she had been holding.

"As for what needs to be done now," he said. "You will need to request for a leave of absence, or at the very least, less strenuous duties." Kaylin, understanding what he meant, made a face. Being a desk Hawk wasn't something she particularly _liked. _"Whether or not you'll be excused from your remaining responsibilities depends on your teachers."

She nodded. She would have to talk to Marcus, Lord Grammayre, Sanabalis, and Diarmat. She wasn't looking forward to _any _of those conversations.

"I'll talk to them about it tomorrow," she said.

He nodded and stood up. "Finish dressing," he said. "Dinner has been prepared. I will dine with you."

Kaylin nodded. She knew enough about the Castle by now that she didn't need Nightshade to escort her to the dining hall. He turned, and began to walk out the door. Kaylin hesitated. She didn't want to prolong the conversation, but she had to ask. "Nightshade," she said.

He stopped and turned towards her.

"Will the child be immortal?" she asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "I cannot answer that question with any certainty," he said.

"But it's a possibility?" she asked.

"Yes, _Erenne_," he said. "It's a possibility. However, I hope that that is not the case."

"Why?"

Nightshade said nothing. If he were human, she might have thought that he hadn't heard the question. But he was Barrani, and she _knew _he heard it. He turned around and left the room. She didn't stop him, and she didn't ask the question again.

She knew better than to do that when his eyes were that shade of blue.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

There's a bit of a spoiler for Cast in Ruin in here, regarding a certain character. If you don't want to read it, skip the paragraph after Diarmat's reaction.

Also, I'm sorry for not updating, but I got caught up in NaNoWriMo and school. All of that is over now, and I'm actually making this count towards my word count, because the main plot of my novel is finished and I don't feel like padding out the middle until the month is over. (I tried not outlining this time and it ended up being too short. .)

Anyway, this was just everyone else's reactions to the pregnancy all wrapped up in one. Next chapter, we'll have a little Nightlin, and we'll get to see Nightshade's reaction to all of this.

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 4**

Kaylin felt her stomach churn again and she grimaced, lowering her head down onto the surface of her desk. The smell of paper and ink hit her, reminding her that she was supposed to be working, but if she had to file one more damned report, she was sure she was going to end up killing something.

"Feeling a little sick, dear?" asked Caitlin from the desk beside hers.

"I thought morning sickness was only supposed to happen in the _morning_," groaned Kaylin, tilting her head up to face Caitlin.

"Remember," said a familiar Barrani voice. "We're referring to _your _body's definition of morning."

"Ha, ha, very funny," said Kaylin, glaring at the Barrani Lord. "Get off my desk."

Teela shrugged and slid off the edge of Kaylin's desk, landing gracefully on the office floor. Anyone else would have knocked over the ink well or scattered a few papers. Or at least, they would have gotten their hair caught in something. As it was, only a few of the paperwork had been moved out of place. Kaylin muttered several things under her breath, feeling a sudden irrational hatred against all members of the Barrani race. Caitlin smiled sympathetically, looking over at her.

"You can take a break if you like," she said.

Kaylin shook her head, trailing her palms down her face. "I'm fine," she said, picking up the quill and dipping the tip in ink. She had taken her last break about an hour ago, wandering into the Aerie to catch her breath. At that time, she had inadvertently walked into the organization of another office betting pool—this one about _her_. She glanced over the next report, still fuming. It had only been about three weeks since the news of her condition became public, and already there was a betting pool about the gender of her child.

Teela took her place against the wall with her arms folded, still watching her. Kaylin glanced at the Barrani. "Aren't you going to place a bet?" she asked.

"I already have," was the reply.

Kaylin scowled at her. Teela, as usual, was completely unfazed. She sighed and pushed her hair out of her face, no doubt smearing ink on her cheek as she turned back to her work.

At least they had gotten over it now, if they were betting on it. This was better than the awkwardness of the first few days, and the conversations she had had to have with _several _authority figures. She grimaced, glancing at Marcus's new desk. His eyes had flared orange the day she had told him, his claws flexed and sunk into the desk, and the poor desk had had enough. It collapsed in a heap underneath a mountain of paper, leaving Marcus bristling and Kaylin standing there feeling stupid, her head tilted to the side to expose her throat and one arm wrapped protectively around her belly, just in case.

"_Get. Out." _Marcus had snarled, when he was finished glaring at her.

She didn't need to be told twice. Kaylin left the room as quickly as she could, without even complaining about the door wards that led to the Hawklord's Tower. Lord Grammayre, thankfully, had been a little calmer about the whole thing. He had ordered that she be placed on desk duty until the birth. Which left two Dragons.

Sanabalis had been next. He had been mostly understanding, although he suggested that they resume practice with the candle in order to make sure that her skills didn't dull until she regained full control of her magic. That stipulation was arguably worse than being a desk Hawk.

And then there was Diarmat. The Dragon Lord had looked her over after she had given him the news, then promptly began filing papers again, as if she had told him nothing more interesting than that the sky was blue. _"I fail to see the issue_," he had said coolly. _"Your physical condition has nothing to do with your ability to absorb information. If it becomes problematic, I may arrange for adequate seating for these lessons." _

_May _arrange, thought Kaylin with a snort. Her left hand rested absently over the growing bulge. She was glad she hadn't witnessed the talking to Bellusdeo had given him when she found out about his response. It probably would have made her deaf. But there had been a chair waiting for her when she returned for her next lesson. Diarmat had given her a look that was a shade too orange to be bronze, and she had had a feeling that it wasn't entirely directed towards her. The two of them came to a silent understanding, and they both refused to acknowledge the chair's existence for now.

"Who's in the betting pool?" she asked, looking up at Teela.

"Myself. Tain. Clint and Tanner. Corporal Handred. Several others."

"_Severn_ placed a bet on this?" she asked.

"Apparently, he grew up in the fiefs, where betting is a custom," said Teela, folding her arms and smirking at her. "Have you heard that?"

Kaylin glanced at the pile of paperwork beside her, and was sorely tempted to chuck the whole thing at the Barrani Hawk. But Teela would somehow manage to dodge every last sheet and look good while doing it, and Kaylin didn't need that right now. "Don't you have anyone else to harass?" she asked.

"At the moment?" asked Teela. She stretched, straightening up from the wall. "No. Tain is with the quartermaster having a new weapon commissioned for me."

"What happened to your old one?" asked Kaylin.

"The last man I arrested broke it."

Kaylin frowned. "With what?" she asked.

"His body."

She raised an eyebrow. "And he made it all the way to jail?" she asked.

"Barely," replied Teela. "The report should be on Marcus's desk."

Which meant it would be looked at some time between three days from now and never. Kaylin eyed the ever present pile of paperwork on the Leontine Sergeant's desk.

A few hours and three frazzled civilians later, Kaylin looked up as the doors to the office opened and Severn walked in, followed by a slightly nervous-looking young man—a new Hawk that had been assigned as Severn's temporary partner. It was meant to give him more experience, as Severn was apparently good at keeping people out of trouble. Which, she realized, was probably why he was always assigned to her.

"You can go now," said Severn, glancing at him.

The new Hawk straightened up and gave him a slightly nervous salute, before turning and running off. Kaylin, Teela, and Caitlin watched the display with varying degrees of amusement as Severn walked up to them.

"He'll learn," said Teela.

Severn nodded. "Ready to go?" he asked, turning towards her.

Kaylin frowned and glanced out the window. The sky was quickly turning an uncomfortable shade of orange. She hadn't realized that it was already that late. She nodded, setting aside her paperwork and getting up. "Ready," she said.

The two of them left the office, Severn walking her to the Ablayne. It had become routine over the past couple of weeks. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Kaylin shrugged. "Better," she said. "It's always worse in the mornings, but the midwives say it should settle down after a while." She frowned. "I found out about the betting pool today."

Severn said nothing. He looked slightly embarrassed.

"What did you bet on?" she asked.

"A girl," said Severn with a shrug.

"Any reason why?"

"It had to be one or the other. Most of the office is betting on a boy," he added after a while.

Kaylin nodded. She could appreciate the logic, if she took out the fact that the bet was made about her. The odds were the same either way, so the smart gambler bet on the side with less people. It meant bigger winnings, if that side won. "Why does everyone think I'm having a boy?" she asked, curious in spite of herself.

Severn frowned. She recognized that frown. "What?" she asked. "Come on. Tell me."

"They said you wouldn't be feminine enough to raise a daughter."

"They _what_?" asked Kaylin.

"I didn't say it," said Severn. "They did."

Andellen was waiting for her halfway across the bridge to Nightshade. He was dressed, as he usually was, in armor. Severn walked with her halfway across the bridge as he normally did. Andellen bowed. "Lord Kaylin," he said. "Lord Severn."

Severn matched Andellen's bow. "Lord Andellen." He glanced at Kaylin when he straightened up. "See you tomorrow?"

"See you," said Kaylin, nodding. She watched as Severn turned, crossing back over the Ablayne and into the city. Kaylin watched him go, suddenly remembering the times the two of them had come to this bridge in their childhood, dreaming about the city across the river. In the end, Severn had only achieved that dream because he had gone after her, and now he was the one with a life in the city, and she was the one returning to the fief. Nightshade was no longer his world.

But it was hers again.

"Lord Kaylin?" asked Andellen.

"Coming," she said, turning towards him.

"Are you feeling well?" he asked as they walked.

"I'm _fine, _Andellen," she heard herself say.

Andellen had insisted on walking her from the bridge to the Castle, ever since learning about her pregnancy. Apparently, even during the day, she was most vulnerable at this time. In and of itself, this wasn't a bad thing. She _liked_ Andellen, and she admired him for his loyalty. It was rare among Barrani, particularly among Barrani of Andellen's rank. She knew that from his point of view, he had every right to be worried. She was human, and theoretically weaker and more vulnerable to injury than him, and she was carrying his lord's child. She _understood _his concerns.

But if a Barrani could ever fuss over someone, it would be Andellen.

And after a month of going from Severn at the office to Andellen at the bridge to Nightshade at the Castle, she was about ready to hurt someone. She had survived encounters with an Outcaste Dragon, shadowstorms, the Barrani Test of Name, the tunnel underneath Castle Nightshade, an encounter with the Devourer, and an angry Arkon without as much fuss as this. But now suddenly she was made of _glass_?

_You are quite capable, Erenne. At the moment, however, the child is slightly less so. _

Nightshade's voice was cool in her mind. She looked up, seeing him waiting for her outside of the Castle. His eyes were green, which was a good sign. She sensed his slight amusement and realized that in his own way, he might have been attempting to make a joke.

_Stop doing that, _she replied, rolling her eyes.

_What? _

_Reading my mind. _

_I am not reading your mind. You simply left it open. _

She glared at him. Nightshade's response was to shrug at her. It was, in theory, a fief shrug, but it was infinitely more graceful than anything she could pull off. He dismissed Andellen and once again picked her up, carrying into the Castle. She might have protested, if she wasn't already sick of feeling nauseous. As it was, she was thankful that the portal was one less thing to feel sick about. She sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head lightly against his chest.

"Are you tired, _Erenne_?" asked Nightshade as they left the portal, entering the Castle proper.

"A little," she admitted. "I'm getting tired of being a desk Hawk." _And of waking up feeling sick…_she added silently. A full night's sleep, already an elusive prospect for her, had become just about impossible after the nausea started. She opened her eyes and looked around. "Uh…Nightshade. You can put me down now."

"I'm aware."

"We _passed _the door to my quarters," said Kaylin. "We're in the Long Halls."

"As I well know."

"Well, where are we headed?" asked Kaylin.

"You said you were tired," replied Nightshade, his voice a low rumble in his chest that she could feel from where she rested her head. She shivered. "So…I was considering drawing a bath…"


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

I have a feeling that I'm going to disappoint a whole lot of people with this update, and for that, I'm sorry, but I unfortunately do not write lemons. I'll leave that to your fertile imaginations. (And if any of those fertile imaginations want to take things into their own hands and post a story that fills in the blanks, feel free to do so. ^^)

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 5**

_All around her, Kaylin saw blood and fire. She ran as fast as she could down the streets of the fief, breathing heavily. One hand clutched one of her daggers close to her. The other arm was wrapped protectively around her belly, swollen in the final stages of her pregnancy. The air smelled heavily of smoke and was tainted by the sounds of screams. She ran on, driven by a sense of fear, of urgency. She had to get help. She had to find him. He would be there. _

_As she ran, she yelled out familiar names. She barely noticed that she was doing it as she made her way quickly down the streets of the fief. _

"_Andellen!" _

"_Samaran!" _

"_Severn!" _

_The last name was almost sobbed, because where _was _Severn? Why wasn't he here? She couldn't feel his presence through the link between them and somehow she knew that he was supposed to be here, that he would have been here if he could, but that he couldn't. "SEVERN!" she called again, putting the full weight of her voice and her fear behind it, but there was no response. _

_They weren't here, but _he _would be here. She was sure of it. Breathlessly, she ran through the portcullis, barely stopping for a moment to wonder why it didn't affect her as it always had. In fact, the portal's magic felt weak and distant against her skin, the framework of the Castle cracked and decayed. _

_The Castle is only as strong as its Lord…_

_But no, he was here. He had to be here. _

_He would be at its heart, at the Castle's heart. She knew it as certainly as she knew her own name. She could feel the weight of her name curling around inside her chest, heat flaring from the marks on her arms and legs as she flew through the Long Halls, running through them as if she had known them all her life. At the end of the Halls, there was a door, and Kaylin stretched her arm out to it, pulling it open. _

"_Nightshade—," she began, out of breath as she ran inside. _

_The figure standing at the center of the crumbling Castle turned around to face her, and Kaylin felt as if she had been stabbed through the heart with ice. She froze in place, the color draining from her face as her eyes widened. The man in the center of the room was not Nightshade. _

_It was Barren. _

"_No…" Kaylin breathed, her hand flying to the side of her face. The mark on her cheek was cool to the touch. She felt no magic from it. No power. None of the feeling that she had associated with Nightshade. She shook her head, stepping back. "No. No. Nightshade!" she called loudly. "NIGHTSHADE!" _

_Barren approached her, and Kaylin took a step back and clenched her fists at her side, tears spilling down her cheeks as she continued to call, her mouth moving even though no words were coming out. _

_Calarnenne! CALARNENNE! _

_Calarnenne…Calarnenne…_

She awoke to insistent shaking, the syllables of Nightshade's true name still falling from her lips.Kaylin opened her eyes with a start and gasped, sitting up. She wasn't in her own room. Nightshade's quarters, she remembered, looking around frantically. He had left her here after the bath. She had fallen asleep. And then…

The lights he had lit for her had long since burned down, and the window—how he _had _a window when Kaylin could assume that none of these walls faced the outside was anyone's guess—was dark. In the gloom, she could make out Nightshade sitting on the bed in front of her, his hands on her shoulders. His eyes were a shade between blue and green.

She let out a shuddering breath and collapsed against him, forgetting pride for a moment in her relief. His hands slipped from her shoulders to embrace her, pulling her to him. "You were gone," she said, breathless from the nightmare. "I looked for you, and you were gone. And Barren…" She choked on the word. Nightshade's arms tightened around her possessively.

_Hush, Erenne, _she heard him say through the link that connected them. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. _I am not leaving. _

Kaylin nodded against his chest, taking several deep breaths of air to come down. When she stopped shaking, she pulled away from him, rubbing at her face with the heel of her hand and attempting to scrub any tears away. "I'm sorry," she said. "Did I call you?"

"Many times, _Erenne_," he replied. He smoothed the hair away from her face with one hand. It was still slightly damp from the bath. Kaylin felt herself relax as he trailed his fingers down to the mark on her cheek, the warmth and reassurance from the touch banishing the nightmare's fear and panic. She exhaled slowly and pushed her hair out of her face, shifting position and tucking her legs under her.

She was dressed in a loose silk robe. Nightshade had lent it to her after the bath, and she had fallen asleep rather than find her way back to her own quarters to get dressed. She knew that she probably looked quite a sight, with the robe in disarray and her hair rumpled from sleep and half-dried, and she had long since given up comparing herself to Nightshade, who looked, as always, perfect.

He pulled away from her and slid off the bed once he was certain that she was calm. She watched him as he walked around the room and re-ignited the lights, his back to her. _I should have killed Barren. _He didn't voice the words out loud, and he didn't face her as he said them. It wasn't the first time he had said those words. He had said them once the first time he saw the full extent of her fear, when he attempted to kiss her. And he would say them again, when she woke up in the night from one of those nightmares and he was with her.

"If you had, I probably would have never left the fiefs. And I would have never come back here…" she said quietly.

He stopped and looked at her, and Kaylin fell silent. There was an unreadable expression on his face and in his eyes. It made her uneasy, because Nightshade _was _unreadable, but he was unreadable because like all long-lived Barrani he had mastered the art of hiding his thoughts behind his expression and not showing his hand until the very end. She accepted deception from him because she knew that there was only a certain amount of honesty you could expect from a Barrani, but this wasn't deception. It was an open, _real _expression that she couldn't place, and she didn't dare try.

He looked away and lit the last few lights. When he turned to face her again, his expression was typical Nightshade, and his eyes were slowly shading towards green. "I brought food to you earlier, but you were asleep," he said, and she noticed for the first time that a covered tray now rested on the end table closest to where she had lain. "I considered waking you but decided against it. Are you well enough to eat?"

The amount of consideration was surprising and almost touching coming from Nightshade. She nodded and lifted the tray, sliding back so that she could sit more comfortably as she placed it on her lap. "For now," she said, splaying the fingers of her left hand over her stomach as she lifted the tray. "Apparently, I have it worse than most people. I hope that's not a sign of how this kid's going to turn out in the future…" She set the tray's lid aside. He had chosen lighter fare without strong smells or tastes, nothing that had sent her running over the past couple of weeks. She raised an eyebrow at him and he ignored the look, coming to sit next to her.

"You do realize that it's going to be _your _child?" asked Nightshade, smirking slightly. "I think trouble is to be expected."

"Right, because it'll be entirely my fault," said Kaylin, spearing a piece of chicken onto a fork. "This coming from the person who's apparently spent centuries pissing off the Barrani High Court." Nightshade frowned at her.

"You exaggerate, _Erenne_," he said, pausing for a moment. "Perhaps one century."

Kaylin's brow rose but she fell silent, quietly eating. The conversation had reminded her of the events of the day. "I walked in on the office betting pool today," she said.

"Oh?" asked Nightshade.

"They were betting on the gender of the child." Silverware scraped against the plate, and she relished the fact that Tara wasn't here to correct her. Speaking of Tara, she made a mental note to visit soon. It had been a while.

"I see," said Nightshade.

"So I was wondering…" she said, after she had chewed and swallowed. "Do you have a preference?"

Nightshade frowned and considered the question for a moment. He shook his head. "Among the Barrani, gender is not an indicator of strength and cunning. Lord Anteela can attest to that." Kaylin nodded. If she had to choose, she would say that Teela probably scared her more than Tain did. "However, there are general differences. The Lords of the High Court are predominantly male. Barrani women, though just as skilled at playing the long game, generally have less interest in the trials of the Test of Name. They may be less…aggressive, in that sense. There are always exceptions. Again, Lord Anteela." Kaylin nodded again. "But that is a matter of personal choice, not of law. Barrani society is not as gender divided as human society can be. So, no. The gender of the child does not matter to me."

"Do you name your children? I mean—," she added hurriedly as Nightshade frowned at her and opened his mouth. "—do you decide on what to call them after they are born?" She realized that they hadn't truly spoken about this before. They had talked about her condition, about how she was feeling, and about the adjustments to her life that she would have to make until the birth, but they had never really spoken about what would happen afterwards. She knew that it was because it didn't truly feel real to her yet. But this was a child, and at some point in the next seven months, it would come whether she was ready for it or not.

"Many do," said Nightshade. "It is usually understood to be something of a stand-in, and that as the child reaches maturity, they may decide to be called something else. However, the majority of Barrani that are called in such a fashion keep the…names…they are given. It's the same among mortals, is it not?"

"Not really…" said Kaylin. "Our parents name us, and we more or less are stuck with them."

"Your mother called you Elianne, and you called yourself Kaylin. How is that different?"

"I was born in the fiefs," said Kaylin bitterly. "There's a lot less paperwork to deal with over here." Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, she mused, as she thought about the small stack of papers waiting for her when she returned to the office tomorrow. "So do you have anything you were thinking of calling the child?" she asked, careful not to use the word 'name'.

"That can be decided when the child is born."

"Was Nightshade what your parents called you?" she asked.

Nightshade stared at her. Kaylin, realizing that she might have crossed a line, quickly backtracked. "I was just curious," she added. She had never really thought about it, but all of the Barrani she had ever met had names—were _called—_things like Anteela, Andellen, Evarrim, Tain—things that she could consider names—or titles such as the Lord of the West March or the Consort. But Nightshade was different.

"I know," he said. His hand rested on hers for a moment. "No. It was not."

She nodded and didn't push the subject. Kaylin finished eating, setting the tray aside. She got up to leave, but Nightshade stopped her, resting a hand on her arm. "You may retire here for the night," he said. She nodded at him, slightly relieved. The Castle was warm, but it was the dead of winter, and even inside the Castle, the corridors were still a little chilly at night. And she didn't want to wake up to another nightmare. Not tonight. She lay back down.

After a while, Nightshade rose and turned down all the lights again. She felt him settle in beside her.

And that was the last thing she noticed before she fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

I'm going to be doing a handful of time skips here because I want to get to the birth of the child, but there is a little mini plot that I need to get through before that happens, if you haven't noticed it yet. :)

To the person who asked if more reviews equals more postings, no, it doesn't. More time on my hands equals more postings. And since I had 10,000 words leftover from NaNoWriMo, I decided to dedicate it to this story.

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 6**

Kaylin woke up in the middle of the night with an intense and inexplicable craving for strawberries.

It wasn't that she didn't _like _the fruit most of the time, she thought as she walked through the darkened halls of Castle Nightshade, a frown on her face. With the life she had been born into, _any _food had been a blessing. But it had never really been one of her favorite fruits. The midwives' guild had warned her that around this time she would start to feel cravings for things that didn't particularly make sense.

She supposed she should be thankful, she thought as she stood on tiptoe and rooted around for the basket of strawberries that she just _knew _were hiding in the cupboard somewhere. According to Kayala, Graylin had craved raw meat. Then again, she wasn't Leontine and neither was her child, although the child's Barrani heritage probably explained why she was in the larder in the middle of the night looking for a delicate little fruit that only lasted about a couple of days off the vine. Her fingers closed around the basket and she pulled it down, setting it on the counter.

_You better not get too Barrani on me, _she thought as she pulled the lid away from a container and took a bite out of one of the berries. _I mean it. No growing up and trying to kill your parents. _

She leaned her back against the counter, one hand resting lightly on the top of her stomach. The bulge was clearly visible now, although she could hide it with loose clothes if she wanted to. Her uniform, much to her dismay, no longer fit. Marcus had given her permission to wear civilian clothes to the office, now that he was speaking to her again. She wiped her fingers on the fabric of her shirt. Kayala had invited her to dinner with the Pridlea after finding out about her condition, and since both Kaylin and Marcus knew who ran _that _household, the Sergeant had had to come to a grudging acceptance of the situation. Although she knew he didn't approve, considering he growled in her direction every time it was brought up.

A shadow passed in front of the door to the kitchens, a sign that someone was up and walking in the hallway. Kaylin frowned. The halls had been deserted when she had walked through them earlier. She knew Barrani didn't technically need to sleep, so it could have been any of Nightshade's guards, but only Andellen freely walked this deep into the Castle at a time like this.

Well, Andellen, and of course, the Castle's Lord.

"Nightshade?" she called uncertainly.

There was a pause, and then Nightshade appeared in the doorway to the kitchens. She could feel his slight surprise coming through the link between them. "Why aren't you asleep?" he asked.

In response, Kaylin gestured at the open container of strawberries beside her. He nodded. His eyes, in the dim light, were nearly blue. Kaylin frowned. He wasn't dressed in armor—that would be a dead giveaway for him—but he was wearing a dark robe, and there were flecks of snow resting on his shoulders. Barrani weren't as affected by temperature as humans were, but he was also wearing a dark cloak around his shoulders. The biggest red flag, though, was the sword he wore.

Nightshade carrying _Meliannos _outside the Castle in the dead of night was probably the clearest indicator of something going wrong that she had received from any Barrani in a while.

"You were outside?" she asked.

"I had business to see to in the fief," replied Nightshade.

Her brows rose in slight surprise and disbelief. "And you needed _Meliannos _for that?" she asked.

"I was uncertain how the encounter would end," he said. "I thought it prudent to be prepared."

"Encounter with _what_?" she asked. There were only a handful of things out there that Nightshade would need _Meliannos _to kill, and she didn't like the thought of any of them being a threat at this time.

"It is not your concern, _Erenne_," said Nightshade, coolly. "I simply do what I must to secure what is mine."

"Like hells it's not my concern!" said Kaylin, raising her voice. She had been moody and irritable over the past couple of days, and it didn't help that this nameless "issue" with the fiefs had been a point of contention for months now. "There's only three things out there that you'd need _Meliannos _for—Shadows, undying, and Makuron. I've helped fight all three of those, and I'm tired of being kept in the dark! So which one is it?"

"Not your concern," Nightshade repeated again, enunciating each word clearly. His eyes slowly became bluer and brighter, hardening in a way that reminded her of ice.

"You can't just leave me out of the loop like this," she said, stepping forward. "If it's one of those things, I need to know. I've spent way more time than is healthy fighting against those things out there, and you and I both know that these marks—." Kaylin froze, stopping mid-rant as she felt it. A wave of barely restrained anger and possessiveness that she felt through the link that connected the two of them. She stared up at him, her eyes locking onto his. They were completely blue now, and they held her gaze quietly, as if challenging her to voice her thought out loud. She swallowed, realization hitting her in that one moment.

"It's me," she said quietly. "He's after me. The marks…"

"We do not fully understand the Dragon Outcaste's goals," said Nightshade. "There are no indications that he is targeting the fiefs for that purpose."

Kaylin shook her head. It made sense now. The secrecy, the sudden increase in protection, Nightshade's insistence that she not walk in the fiefs at night at _all _if she could help it. Even Nightshade's words, that he would secure what was his… "No, you're lying," she said. "You do know what he's up to. You just won't tell me."

"There is no need for you to concern yourself with this. You—."

"Gods dammit, Nightshade, enough with the double talk," she said, cutting him off. "I'm not Barrani. So you can stop treating me like one and give me a straight answer. Is he after me or not?"

Nightshade stared at her for a moment. She stared back, unmoved. There was a time when talking to Nightshade like this would have scared her. Sometimes, she wasn't sure that it didn't anymore. But she had learned over the years that there were things out there scarier to her than an Outcaste Barrani fieflord. Finally, Nightshade sighed.

"We believe," he began. "that he is aware that the Chosen resides in this fief."

It was the closest to a straight 'yes' that he would get from him. Kaylin nodded once, feeling her shoulders slump and the tension leaving her at that confirmation. She looked away from him, glad to be free of those penetrating blue eyes. So that was it. The Dragon Outcaste, for reasons yet unknown but most likely unpleasant, was after her again.

"Does he know I'm pregnant?" she asked, turning away and putting the lid back over the container of strawberries. She wasn't hungry anymore. An uncomfortable silence hung over the kitchen for a few moments.

"…The timing of the attacks seems too contrived to be coincidental," he finally said.

"Timing?" she asked, looking up.

"The first attack occurred the night after you set fire to my library."

The first time her magic had failed to work for her. Kaylin frowned, clamping the lid down over the strawberry container with more force than necessary. She looked up at Nightshade. "Who else knows, besides you and Andellen?"

"I thought it wise to inform Lord Tiamaris regarding the possibility of future attacks."

Great, thought Kaylin as she set the container back into the cupboard and closed the door. First Nightshade, then Andellen, and now Tiamaris. She muttered a curse against immortals in general and turned to face Nightshade. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"Because if I told you, you would find a way to get yourself involved," he said. "And I need you to stay out of this."

"I'm _already _involved," she said. "He's after _me_, remember?"

"He cannot reach you inside this fief or this Castle," said Nightshade. "Not while I am its Lord."

"Then he'll just be after _you_!"

Nightshade's eyes narrowed at the indirect insult. "I am perfectly capable of defending myself," he said.

"Nightshade, it took four Dragons to fight him off the last time."

"My border is strong," said Nightshade. "It will hold. Unlike Lord Tiamaris, I do not have to contend with a border weakened from decades of incompetent rule."

"If you would just let me—."

"No, _Erenne_," said Nightshade, cutting her off. "I will not. I have conceded more to you than is wise, but on this, I will not be moved. I ask that you not involve yourself in this any further. If you will not do it for your sake, then do it for the sake of the child."

She fell silent, because he was right. Damn him, he was right. There wasn't _anything _she could do in this situation. Not without risking herself and her child. Nightshade, sensing his victory, nodded once. "It is late," he said. "You should return to bed."

Kaylin nodded slowly, walking past him with her arms folded. She paused when she had gone a few feet and looked back at him, a frown on her face. There was more she wanted to say, but she couldn't find the words. Her heart was heavy, and it felt like there was a knot in her throat. He waited, watching her expectantly. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth, then closed it and walked away.

It was a feeling she couldn't place, or maybe a feeling she didn't want to place. She didn't fully understand it. She knew in her mind that Nightshade was powerful, especially so within the borders of his own fief. She knew that even Makuron wouldn't have an easy time getting at him or breaking down the border to the fief. He had tried before, and had been beaten back. She knew all these things in her head. But she was still afraid.

And she didn't know why that was.

All she knew, was that she didn't want Nightshade to die.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:**I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

Well, _Cast in Peril _is coming out soon, and in excitement for that, I've decided to pick up this story again. ^^ Hope you guys enjoy this update! I may be a little rusty, since it's been a while since I read CoE, but I hope the characters turn out alright regardless.

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 7**

"You think Makuron's after you?" repeated Severn, frowning as he looked up from his seat on the floor at her.

Kaylin shook her head. "No," she said. "I _know _he's after me. Nightshade all but told me. And whatever's going on out there is apparently getting worse." She rested a hand over her stomach, something she had been doing a lot of lately. Time was moving faster than she would have liked, and according to the midwives, her pregnancy was a little over half finished. They assured her that things were progressing normally, but had also told her that she should start feeling movement by now, something that hadn't happened yet. She assumed it had something to do with the fact that the child wasn't entirely human, but she couldn't help but worry.

Their report today hadn't done much to better her mood, especially when coupled with this continuing drama in the fiefs.

"How do you know that?" asked Severn.

"Because I haven't seen a pair of green eyes in the past week," replied Kaylin, frowning. "It's not just Nightshade. Andellen, Samaran, and his other guards too. I'd bet your money that it's because of him."

"I'd like to keep my money," replied Severn with a faint hint of a smile, watching as Kaden stood up from where he was playing and started walking clumsily towards Kaylin, a toy in hand. "I've been using more of it lately."

Kaylin smiled as Kaden reached her, placing her hand on the child's head. He held the toy out to her, giving her a solemn expression that made him look like a miniature Severn for a moment. She couldn't help but grin. "For me?" she asked, slowly taking the toy from him. This time it was a boat, a small wooden ship that Kaylin thought looked suspiciously like an item sold by the merchant who Severn and his temporary partner had helped a few weeks ago.

She gave her partner a knowing look. "You spoil him," she commented, ruffling Kaden's hair and watching as the child, satisfied now that Kaylin had accepted his present, walked off and began to play with the bright red ball that was rolling around the floor. Severn looked away, giving her a fief shrug and an expression that she understood.

_I'm just glad I can._

Growing up in the fiefs, it wasn't like either of them knew what it was like to be spoiled, or to be showered constantly by love and affection. Kaylin's mother had loved her, but she died early on, and she still didn't know what had happened to Severn's parents, but she assumed that they had met much the same fate.

Another worrying thought occurred to her, and she glanced down at her growing belly. Severn loved Kaden—that much was obvious to anyone who looked at them, even though he didn't always say as much. How would Nightshade act, once the child was born? He had mentioned before that he hoped the child turned out to be mortal. Why? If the child were immortal…would he treat him or her like another opponent in the long game? Would the child do the same?

After she died, would one of them eventually kill the other? Or…if the theory that the name she had taken would extend her life turned out to have some merit, would she have to watch it?

She bit her lip, not sure, in that moment, which scenario was worse.

Severn looked up at her, a concerned frown on his face.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Fine," she said, moving across the living room towards a chair that looked suddenly inviting. "Just fine."

The look Severn gave her reminded her that even after years of living with a Barrani, she was still a terrible liar. She opened her mouth, about to use some of her choice language to tell him off, when a feeling like ice flooded the area on her cheek around Nightshade's mark, and she staggered, placing one hand on the coffee table for support as she nearly fell over.

Severn was by her side in seconds, his arms wrapping around hers and holding her steady. Kaylin took several deep breaths, her hand going to the mark on her cheek. She could still feel the cold rushing through her body, that entire side of her face feeling like ice. She took a deep breath, several shudders wracking her body as she leaned against Severn for support. A feeling of alarm suddenly spread through her, and she traced the area around the mark with her fingers, her heart thudding painfully in her chest.

_Calarnenne, _she called, before she realized she was doing it.

Kaylin was almost overwhelmed by the sudden smell of smoke and the sensation of fire. Sights, sounds, and feelings rushed through the mark at once, threatening to drown her. She caught fleeting glimpses of a bright blade, of a flash of light against armor, of a dark shape against the skyline of the fief, of a roar, of blood…Her breathing came faster and faster as the images built up, and suddenly there was another presence in her mind, hovering somewhere between Nightshade and herself, something she had felt before, something that reached for her. She felt Severn shaking her slightly and calling her name, but she couldn't respond, her world taken up for one moment by dark scales and glowing eyes, by the smell of smoke and fire as those eyes reached for her.

By the sound of a familiar voice shouting a denial, a claim, by the sight of a familiar sword cutting through the air, by the sight, unbelievably, of the very stone of the fiefs suddenly rising up to attack the dark form…

But the Dragon laughed, and Kaylin heard him roar, a sound that shook her all the way to her bones. She felt something pulling him in, pulling her towards the sound, and she tried to resist, grabbing hold of fistfuls of Severn's shirt as if that would anchor her here as she tried to reach the frayed remnants of her power. The voice pulled, threatening to bring her closer and closer—

_Ellariayn._

The syllables of her name rang out cool and clear, severing the tenuous connection between her and Nightshade and the Dragon. Suddenly, Kaylin found herself in Severn's living room again, holding onto her childhood friend like a lifeline. She took several deep breaths, slowly untangling her fingers from his shirt and taking a step back from him. The color had drained from her face, and she could still feel her heart beating quickly. Kaylin looked up at him and down at Kaden, who was now watching her curiously, then collapsed down onto the couch, her knees suddenly giving out as she stared down at her hands and tried to process what she had just seen.

"Kaylin?" asked Severn tentatively, frowning at her.

She shook her head. "Something's wrong," she said.

"The Dragon Outcaste?" asked Severn.

"I think he's attacking," said Kaylin, getting to her feet. "I have to—." A wave of dizziness overcame her, cutting her off in midsentence, and she slid down into a sitting position again, placing a hand on her head. She remained still for a few moments, waiting for the world to stop spinning.

The mark on her cheek flared into life again, radiating faint warmth this time. Kaylin took a deep breath, raising her hand to it as a familiar voice echoed through her mind. Its presence wasn't as strong as it normally was, the voice fainter than usual, and that brought on another wave of worry.

_Erenne._

_Nightshade, _she replied. _What's going on? What—? _

He cut her off. His voice, although weak, was still commanding.

_Do not return to the fiefs tonight. Remain with Corporal Handred. I will send for you when it is safe. _

_Nightshade! _she called, feeling the connection begin to close. _Nightshade, what—?_

His presence left, leaving her alone in her mind again. Kaylin took a deep breath, feeling her stomach churn as she looked up at Severn. He stared at her, his expression unreadable, but she could sense through the link between them that he had heard every word. His eyes darkened as he took note of her expression, and she raised her eyes to his, the scowl on her face daring her to challenge him.

"…Kaylin," he began.

"If you're going to say that I shouldn't go, then you can save it," she said, getting to her feet. Her hand moved towards the gold bracer that encased her wrist. Severn frowned, watching her.

"I wasn't going to say that," he said, and she saw his eyes travel towards the locked drawer where he kept his chain, away from Kaden's curious hands.

"…I was going to say that you shouldn't go alone."

XxXxX

By the time she arrived in the fiefs, the battle was over. The sun had all but completely set, and while the streets close to the castle bore no signs of whatever must have transpired, the few inhabitants she and Severn caught sight of bore the wide-eyes and cautious expressions that told her that the battle's effects had rippled further from its source. She bullied herself into the Castle, shouting down a reluctant Samaran who attempted to bar her from entering the portal and dragging both herself and Severn through.

The effect had her lying on the ground in an ungraceful heap for a moment, before she finally collected herself enough to stand up and face the Barrani Lord that stood in front of her.

It wasn't Nightshade, but at this point, it was close enough.

"Andellen," she said.

"Lord Kaylin. Lord Severn," said Andellen, his frown disapproving. He glanced from her, to Severn, to the apologetic blue-eyed Samaran that followed them in through the portal, before his eyes settled on her once again. They were dangerously blue. Kaylin shivered in spite of herself, even knowing that Andellen was probably the Barrani least likely to hurt her.

She would have said Nightshade, but he had had her enter the Castle from underneath that one time before the tidal wave hit, and that more or less rendered him ineligible for that position.

"You should not be here," said Andellen.

"Save it," said Kaylin, knowing full well that she would be hearing enough about it from Nightshade. "Where is he?"

Andellen glanced away for a moment, another emotion breaking through his Barrani mask, and Kaylin realized with a start that the blue of his eyes wasn't entirely anger. At least part of it stemmed from another emotion. Fear. The sight of that on Andellen's face was enough to spark fresh fear in her own heart.

"Andellen," she repeated again, her voice softer this time, "Where is he?"

"Perhaps," said Andellen, raising his eyes back to hers. "…It is not entirely a bad thing that you have come."

That was _so _not what she wanted to hear.

"His rooms?" she asked.

Andellen said nothing. That, for a Barrani, was answer enough. Kaylin stepped away from him, stalking off in the direction of Nightshade's quarters. The Barrani Lord raised his head, frowning at her. "Lord Kaylin," he began. "The Long Halls—."

"I know the way to Nightshade's quarters," snapped Kaylin, cutting him off. Their voices drifted through the walls after her, Andellen's slightly exasperated, and Severn's resigned.

"My lord will not be pleased," she heard Andellen comment. "Although truthfully, he probably expected this."

"If he didn't," replied Severn, "Then he doesn't know her nearly well enough."

XxXxX

The walk to Nightshade's quarters seemed both shorter and longer than she would have liked. Shorter, because she had spent most of the walk thinking about what she had just seen, and longer, because she was dreading what she would find there. She didn't bother to knock when she reached the doors that led into his quarters. She was well aware that Nightshade already knew she was here. Injured or not, nothing that went on in the Castle would escape his notice.

She found the fieflord in bed. That in itself was worrying enough. He was dressed in one of his dark inner robes, the silk beginning to slide off his shoulders as he sat up, watching her. She caught sight of white bandages peeking out from underneath his robe, wrapped around his chest. Kaylin stared, her hand on the doorknob.

"_Erenne, _you have an amazing ability to be where you have been specifically told not to be," said Nightshade as she entered the room, the Barrani Outcaste giving her a blue-eyed stare.

"I followed half of your instructions," she said, finding her voice as she walked in and let the door swing shut behind her. "Severn's here." His eyes lightened, becoming another shade bluer. Obviously that had been the wrong thing to say. She ignored the look in his eyes, pulling a cushioned stool from the corner of the room and coming to sit beside his bed. From here, she could see the bandages more clearly. They had been wrapped tightly, the white fabric visible against his pale skin.

He followed her gaze, the blue of his eyes receding. They were still blue, but they weren't so terribly bright anymore.

"…Nightshade," she began after a moment of silence. "What happened?"

"Nothing that you should concern yourself with," replied the fieflord coolly.

"I think I should decide that for myself," said Kaylin, unable to tear her eyes away from the sight of bandages against his chest. Her throat felt unusually tight, for a reason she couldn't name. "Can I?" she asked.

She knew he understood her question, but Nightshade didn't answer, instead continuing to watch her. Kaylin took his silence as assent and slowly reached out, keeping her eyes on his face as her fingers landed lightly, hesitantly, on the fabric of his dark robe. When he did nothing to stop her, she moved her fingers down, letting the robe slide off his shoulders fully and exposing the full extent of his injuries to her.

The knot in her throat grew, making it suddenly hard to breathe. Her fingers fluttered hesitantly on top of one of the bandages, her eyes going up to Nightshade's face. He didn't hiss in pain, flinch, or pull away. Instead he simply sat there, watching her stoically as she assessed the damage. It was difficult to see what kind of injury the Dragon Outcaste had managed to inflict on the fieflord, but Kaylin could make three guesses—fire, claws, or fangs.

"It was a claw," said Nightshade, the fieflord's voice reminding her that the link between them was still very much open. "I had managed to guard against the fire."

_I was…distracted._

The thought came through the link between them, and Kaylin frowned at the admission, biting her lip as she recalled the scene in Severn's living room, the voice that pulled at her and threatened to bring her to it...She had felt Nightshade react then, remembered seeing shifting stone and a flash of a bright sword.

…_Because of me? _

_He attempted to take what was mine. For that, he did not escape unscathed. _

…_But it appears as though I could not help you in the way that Corporal Handred could. _

She didn't miss the accusation in his voice. Kaylin swallowed hard against the knot in her throat, remembering the way Severn had used her name as an anchor, pulling her back into reality. She knew what he was implying, and she didn't want to deal with that right now.

Kaylin said nothing, studying the bandages. They had been wrapped well, and she wondered for a moment who had done it. Nightshade was Barrani, but even still, with the placement of the bandages, she doubted he had done it himself. Who then? Andellen? She couldn't imagine him trusting anyone else…

Her fingers rested lightly against his skin, and she took a deep breath, lowering her eyes and trying to identify the source of this sudden tightness in her throat, this sudden churning in her stomach. It wasn't the injury itself. She had seen worse before, in the infirmary at the Halls of Law. She was fairly certain that she had _had _worse injuries before. She had no doubt that he would survive and recover but…this was different.

She knew that even Barrani occasionally got hurt. It didn't happen often in the Halls, unless the Barrani Hawks in question encountered other Barrani, but she had seen it happen before. But never with Nightshade.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Nightshade was…he was supposed to be untouchable.

The thought that the Outcaste might be stronger—the thought that Nightshade could have actually died…She thought of the claw, and couldn't help but think that if it had been angled a little differently, if it had gone a little deeper…

Nightshade's voice intruded into her thoughts. "_Erenne_, I am not that weak."

He should have sounded insulted. He had, the few times she had ever voiced worry about things like this, but he didn't this time. It sounded as though he was simply stating a fact, a fact that she had apparently been failing to understand. She felt her free hand, the one that wasn't touching him, curl into a fist, and she quickly pulled her other hand away as she felt it start to tremble, her eyes lowering to her lap.

The mark on her cheek pulsed, a slow reassuring warmth.

Kaylin sucked in a breath and raised her hand, moving it towards the gems on her bracer. His hand reached out, catching hers and stopping her before she could key in the combination that would release her magic.

"Do not," he said, his tone commanding again. "I will heal."

"But—," began Kaylin, looking up at him.

His eyes met hers. They were still blue, although she did catch sight of just the barest hint of green. "I will heal, _Erenne_," he repeated, stressing the words. "You have not seen the full consequences of a mage losing control of their magic. I have. Do not attempt it."

Her eyes narrowed, and she attempted to pull her hand out of his grasp. He held fast, his eyes shifting a shade bluer.

"Nightshade, if I can light a thrice damned candle, I can—."

"—Heal?" finished Nightshade, raising his brow. "There is a great difference between lighting a candle in a controlled setting in the company of one's teacher and attempting to heal. You risk not only yourself."

His last words stopped her, and she relented, lowering her eyes as her hand fell to her lap. He released her slowly, his hands going to pull up his robe again. "…I am not the only one who was injured in our encounter," he quietly said.

Kaylin looked around his room for the first time, and caught sight of _Meliannos _propped up against the wall in the corner of the room. Its edge gleamed with dark blood. She looked up at Nightshade, a frown on her face.

"I did not manage to kill him," said the fieflord. "But he will not return for a time. However…"

He looked up at Kaylin, and in an instant, she understood what he was about to say. She shook her head quickly. "I'm not leaving," she said.

"It is safer for you in the City."

She shook her head again, more insistently this time. "I won't go," she said.

His eyes darkened, his mouth pulling into a fine line at her refusal, but he didn't respond, instead looking away. "Very well," he said. "I see that this is not the time for this conversation. When you decide to be reasonable, we will discuss it again."

_Which would be never_, she thought, a determined frown settling on her face, but she didn't voice the thought out loud. She had a feeling he heard it anyway.

"…I'll let you rest," she said, slowly getting to her feet.

A hand on her wrist stopped her just as she turned away. Kaylin frowned, glancing back at him.

"You may stay if you desire," he said in explanation.

It wasn't a command. It didn't feel like a command, or even a request. She knew that he wouldn't take offense if she chose to leave, knew that he didn't need her there. She knew all of these things.

But she took a deep breath anyway, slowly settling back into her seat.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:**I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

More time skips! When I write fanfic, I do my best to follow the style of the original author, but unfortunately, this story needs time skips, or it would be 9 months of purple prose. I'd estimate that there are maybe 4 chapters left before the child is born, and then about two chapters after that. ^^

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 8**

Kaylin rubbed her eyes as the words on the page began to swim together, blinking twice to clear her head. She sighed, setting the page aside and taking a deep breath as she grabbed the next report. Her eyes drifted towards the clock for what seemed like the tenth time in as many minutes, counting down until the time that office hours officially ended.

"Tired?" asked Caitlin.

"Bored out of my skull," replied Kaylin, glancing up at the Leontine that sat behind his own desk. Marcus was studying a sheet of paper in front of him, and although his fur bristled slightly as she spoke, he seemed content to ignore her comment. "I wish this kid would just hurry up and come."

"Well, you can't rush things like this," said Caitlin, smiling slightly. "Besides, you don't have much farther to go. Have you considered applying for maternity leave?"

Kaylin grimaced. The thought of spending the next month or so in Castle Nightshade the way things were was worse than the thought of spending it in the office. At least in the office she had conversation, and was able to see her fellow Hawks. The Castle had succumbed almost completely to this mood of tense preparation. Makuron would attack again, Nightshade had promised, and it would be when he knew that she was weak, when she couldn't call on the powers of the Chosen to defend herself. That meant that he would attack before the child was born, and his window to do that was rapidly closing.

Nightshade's, and by extension Andellen's, continued insistence, in some form or another, that she leave the Castle and remain in the City, was not something she wanted to deal with for longer than the few hours before she went to bed. It didn't help that a small part of her wondered if the two Barrani were doing this on purpose, hoping to make things as tense as possible so that she would eventually get fed up and give in.

She wouldn't put it past them.

"I don't think things would be much more exciting at the Castle," said Kaylin, knowing that Caitlin expected an answer. "I'd rather take it after."

"Probably for the best," said Caitlin with a nod. "Are you ready for it? It's going to be a big change."

"Maybe," said Kaylin with a frown. Marcus growled softly from his desk, a signal that he had heard the conversation and wasn't particularly willing to listen to it. She ignored it for now, shifting uncomfortably in her seat as she looked up at Caitlin. "…I mean…I guess? It's coming whether I'm ready for it or not."

"How is _he _taking all of this?" asked Caitlin.

Marcus's growl was louder this time, and a little more pronounced. Kaylin lowered her eyes to her desk again, grabbing another sheet of paper. "…I don't know," she admitted. "He hasn't said much about it."

"Have you asked him?"

This time, there was no mistaking Marcus's growl. Kaylin took a deep breath, sighing. "…And expect the truth?" she asked.

The door to the office opened, cutting the awkward conversation short. That was good, because if Marcus growled again, she had a feeling that there would be several new furrows left in his desk. The sound of childish laughter bubbled up through the office, and Kaylin looked up, hearing a familiar voice call her name.

"Kaylee!"

Kaden reached for her, struggling out of the grasp of a harried looking Linn Handred. She gave them an apologetic smile as she reined in her son. Caitlin beamed as she watched them, getting to her feet. Kaylin, grateful that the motherly Hawk had found a new target, watched with amusement as Caitlin picked Kaden up, bouncing him in her arms slightly.

"He's gotten so big," she heard Caitlin say. "I didn't know he was talking already."

"He knows a few words," said Linn, smiling. "He started talking about a month and a half ago. The problem is getting him to _stop _talking."

"That's definitely not something he inherited from Severn," said Kaylin with a grin.

"Definitely not," said Linn, letting out a tired sigh as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "That's definitely something from my side of the family. But speaking of…" She turned towards Kaylin, frowning as she looked around the office. "Is Severn here?"

Kaylin shook her head. "He got sent on a case," she said. "I thought he mirrored you."

"He probably left a message," said Linn, frowning as she took Kaden back from Caitlin. "We've been at my sister's all day, so we haven't been home."

"Well, he should be back soon," said Kaylin, getting up as Kaden reached for her again. She took him from Linn, wrapping an arm behind his knees so that he was sitting on her forearm. "Kaylee!" he repeated, grinning as she bounced him up and down slightly. He looked around the office, his eyes finally landing on Marcus. The Leontine sergeant was watching the scene now, a slight look of what might have been amusement on his face as Kaden stared at him with wide eyes.

"Kitty?" he finally said.

Kaylin stifled a laugh at the look Marcus gave her. "No, not a kitty," she said. "That's Marcus. Can you say Marcus?"

"Kitty!" insisted Kaden, punctuating it with a bubbling laugh.

Some of the Hawks in the office chuckled. Others hid smiles. Marcus's fur bristled, but in a way that was more embarrassed than angry. Kaylin smiled slightly, shaking her head as she touched Kaden on the nose.

_You will never hear the end of this when you're older…_she thought.

Kaden, at the moment, seemed more interested in her finger. Linn gave Marcus an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that, Sergeant Kassan," she said. Kaden giggled, making Kaylin wonder whether or not he was actually aware of what he was saying. She sighed, wrapping her arms around the child and letting him play idly with her hair.

"…I thought it was you," said a familiar voice, the door to the office opening again.

Kaden let out an excited squeal, losing interest in Kaylin's hair as he practically flung himself out of her arms, arms outstretched. "Dada!" he called.

Severn obligingly stretched out his hands, taking Kaden from Kaylin and letting him sit on his arm, wrapping his free arm around Linn. The contact was brief—Severn wasn't one given to public displays of any type of affection, but for one moment it was there.

"What are you doing here?" asked Severn.

"Visiting you," said Linn, smiling slightly. "Or are we not allowed to do that now?"

Kaylin smiled softly, watching the three of them. Severn didn't show it, but she could tell that he felt very strongly for both of them. And Linn could tell too, because she beamed up at him, her eyes lighting up as she playfully teased. They weren't perfect, but they were by all accounts a happy family, and she was glad that Kaden had that. The warmth she usually felt watching them, though, was tainted by another feeling today, an uglier one.

She didn't think she had that. And her child wouldn't have that.

…_That could have been me. _

The thought came unbidden to her mind, and the smile faded from Kaylin's face.

She'd never thought it before, never considered that she might have regrets choosing Nightshade over Severn. But now she wondered. Did she want what Linn had? What Kaden had? What would her life be like if she had chosen different…? It could have easily been her. Severn had loved her once, and he had told her so multiple times. On some level, he still did, but not on the same level anymore.

He had moved on, and she was happy for him. But was she wishing that she had chosen differently now?

She didn't like the dark turn her thoughts were taking.

"Kaylin…" asked Caitlin, frowning as she looked towards her. "Are you okay?"

She blinked, realizing that Caitlin, Linn, and Severn were all watching her, frowns on their faces.

"…What?" she asked.

"I asked if you wanted to come over after work," repeated Linn, giving Kaylin a concerned frown. "For dinner."

"Oh…" She avoided Severn's eyes, afraid that he would see right through her. "Um…I'm really tired…" she said. "…I think I'll just go home."

"You do look tired, dear," said Caitlin from beside her. "Maybe you should leave now. There isn't much left in the day anyway."

Another time, she might have protested. Another time, she might have insisted that it was nothing. But for some reason, she didn't feel like she had the energy to do that right now. So she simply nodded, beginning to gather up her things and trying to avoid the look that Severn was giving her. The look that said he didn't buy it in the slightest.

XxXxX

When Kaylin arrived back at the fief, she found herself greeted by a scene.

She should have known that something was up when it was Samaran who came to greet her at the bridge, not Andellen, but she hadn't realized the full extent of it until she found a loose half-circle of Nightshade's guards outside of the entrance to the Castle, watching something intently. A crowd of fief-dwellers that were either very brave or very stupid watched as well, although they kept a cautious distance, studying the scene carefully from the tops of buildings. The guards wordlessly moved to admit a place for her as she stepped forward, and her eyes widened as she saw what they were all staring at.

A pair of Barrani moved together from opposite sides of the circle, swords clashing. With almost impossible speed, they sprang apart and came together again, steel sliding against steel as Nightshade slid his sword out from alongside Andellen's and thrust it at the Barrani Lord's chest. Andellen stepped to the side in one fluid motion, the point of Nightshade's sword barely glancing off of his armor before Andellen lunged, the tip of his own sword aimed for Nightshade's arm. The fief lord stepped back, Andellen's sword missing the edge of his robe by what must have been half an inch before he moved, his hair trailing behind him like a curtain as he swung his sword towards Andellen.

The pair fought with such ferocity, such speed and decision to their movements, that for a moment Kaylin thought that they were actually fighting—that the tenuous bond between them, so rare among Barrani, had finally been shattered. But then she saw Nightshade pause, in a movement so controlled that it could _barely _be considered hesitation, and turn his sword just a fraction to the right so that only the flat brushed against Andellen's side.

That was the only indication she had that this was a spar.

She had seen Barrani fight before, had seen them spar on the training yard, had seen Teela and Tain challenge each other to quick bouts over and over again. But she hadn't seen this before.

Andellen was _skilled_. There was no doubt about that. He moved with the same cat-like grace and power that all of the Barrani embodied, to varying degrees. He caught Nightshade's blade better than any human swordsman Kaylin had ever seen, dodged strikes that would have cut her to ribbons, and attacked so rapidly that Kaylin could hardly see what he was doing. There was no doubt that he was good, even for a Barrani. He could probably take on most of the Barrani Hawks, although Kaylin wouldn't speak for Teela. Give Teela a sword, and Kaylin had no idea which of them would come out on top.

But Nightshade was…

…_breathtaking_.

She could fight. Kaylin considered herself a good fighter, for a human. Even without her powers, she could handle her own. She understood the basics of combat, had learned enough over the years to take a critical eye when watching a fight, instead of seeing it as a game of who could score the most hits. She learned to tell the truly skilled from the thugs.

Severn was truly skilled. If someone asked, she would say that Severn was the best human fighter she had ever seen. She had asked him once, when things had settled down in Elantra, if she could try using his chain, and she had failed miserably. She had never touched it again. But she had gained a greater appreciation of all of the times she had seen him spin the chain between his fingers and draw the blade through the air with such ease.

Teela and Tain were truly skilled. In the beginning, she might have said all Barrani were. But she had seen the both of them trounce the other Barrani Hawks enough times to realize that the Barrani had to be held in a higher bracket, and some of the other Barrani Hawks, no matter how skilled they might look compared to her, were the Barrani equivalent of thugs. Teela especially—Kaylin couldn't quite place it, but when she watched the other woman, she felt constantly like Teela was holding back, that she could do more.

Andellen was truly skilled.

But Nightshade made Andellen look like a thug.

A casual observer might say that Andellen had more drive. He moved with more energy, attacked with more power, defended in wide, graceful motions that made him look like the wind, lightly skimming the surface of the water. In contrast, a casual observer might say that Nightshade's performance was lackluster. He blocked, dodged, and stepped, but she was willing to bet that if she asked one of the fieflings later, and they were willing to answer, they would say that his heart didn't look like it was in it. They would say that Andellen was winning the spar, because Andellen was coming close, all of his strikes missing Nightshade by a hair.

But Andellen moved like the surface of the water.

Nightshade moved like its depths.

When he dodged a strike from Andellen, he did so with a single small movement, just as much as what was necessary and never more. He dodged within a hair's breadth not because Andellen had him on the ropes and he was desperate, but because he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that that was _all _he needed to do. There was no wasted energy in any of his movements—no lunge that had him off-balance, no dodge that forced him to give ground, no weak defense. Once or twice, Kaylin saw his sword skitter off of Andellen's armor as the other Barrani moved to place it between the sword and him, but she never once saw Andellen's sword touch, the blade always coming within an inch of Nightshade's deep sapphire robes, but never more.

Because that was another difference. While Andellen was dressed in full armor, Nightshade wore none.

He didn't need it.

Kaylin watched as the fight continued, entranced. Nightshade reminded her of water. Like water, she was drawn to it, and like water, she knew that if she stared long enough, she would drown. Her heart thudded in her chest as she watched the battle, her eyes fixed on Nightshade's form, on the power concealed in it—on the hands that had held her as they gripped the hilt of his sword loosely, moving just enough to strike but not more than needed.

She understood now why the High Court thought he was something to be feared.

His voice rang in her mind, from the time those years ago when he had first kissed her, although they took on another meaning now.

…_I have learned to wait. _

Their swords clashed again, one final time, and the two of them stared at each other, Andellen wordlessly sheathing his. They didn't smile or exchange friendly banter with each other, but their eyes were both green. Nightshade handed his sword to one of the guards, hilt first, and it was only then that Kaylin realized the sword he used wasn't even his, but one he had borrowed. The Barrani guard sheathed his sword, wordlessly stepping back into the circle. She thought she saw, for just a moment, flecks of brown in both of their eyes, but if they were there, they were quickly drowned out by the green.

They nodded at each other, and just like that, the crowd dispersed, the Barrani guards heading back into the Castle. Andellen paused to give her a polite bow, one that her condition didn't quite allow her to return. She settled for leaning forward slightly, and he rose, following the others into the castle.

Nightshade watched her, his green eyes brimming with dark amusement as he took note of the flush on her cheeks.

"Did you enjoy the show, _Erenne_?" he teased as he walked over to her. The small hint of promise in his voice made her uncomfortably warm, and she turned her eyes away from his, though she could still sense his new amusement through the mark.

"What was _that _all about?" she asked.

"Preparation," replied Nightshade, his hand landing lightly on her arm as he led her over to the portal.

She had been about to say 'for what?', but the words died in her throat. She knew very well what it was preparation for. The attack by Makuron had been all anyone in the fief had been able to think about lately, with the deadline of her child's birth coming closer and closer. It made her wonder, not for the first time, if anyone in the Castle even gave a thought as to what their 'deadline' really meant.

Nightshade, as if sensing her unease, drew closer to her as they reached the portal.

…_The Dragon Outcaste caught me off guard in our last encounter. I endeavor to make sure it does not happen again. _

She felt a shiver run through her as Nightshade picked her up. There was such a finality in his words that she knew if the Dragon Outcaste had been anyone else, he would already be dead. Because that was what Nightshade was. He was cold and calculating, ruthless and powerful, possessive and occasionally demanding. She had known that all her life. Had she forgotten all these things because he'd shown her a few years of some affection? He lived in a world of shadows, lies, and games. How could she expect that that world could accommodate something as innocent as a child?

She had grown up in a world like that, and it had corrupted her, changed her irrevocably.

Her skin crawled at the thought, and she pushed away from Nightshade, sliding out of his arms as they crossed through the portal and beginning to walk. His brows rose at her behavior, but he said nothing, watching her as they made their way down the hallway. She could feel his regard through the link that bound them, but he simply watched, coming to walk beside her. She felt him probing through their link, trying to reach her thoughts, and she immediately grabbed onto them, hiding them from sight. The next thing she felt was his surprise, something that told her she had been successful for the first time.

"…What troubles you, _Erenne_?" he finally asked.

She took a deep breath, wondering if she should voice her concerns or not. The words she told Caitlin still rang in her head. She doubted he would give her a completely honest answer even if she asked. But…

"…How do you feel about this situation?" she asked, chancing a glance at his eyes.

They were a very neutral blue-green.

"I take it you are not referring to the situation with the Dragon Outcaste," he said.

"No…" said Kaylin, looking away. "I'm not."

Even with her mind closed off to him, Nightshade had centuries of experience reading people. She wasn't particularly surprised when he saw right through her.

"…You worry for the sake of the child," he said. It was not a question. She nodded once.

"You worry that in time, I will come to see it as either a tool to be used or a threat to be destroyed."

"Yes," she said, knowing there was no point in beating around the bush.

"Certainly, the thought had crossed my mind," said Nightshade, walking ahead of her.

The calm way in which he said it made her freeze in place, staring at him. She suspected that he might think that way—she knew that it was how most Barrani considered their families, but she hadn't expected him to say so outright. Nightshade paused, looking back at her with a frown that might have been from concern, his eyes shifting slightly towards a more uncertain shade.

"…Walk with me?" he said. It was a request, but, she realized with a start, it was one where she was given the opportunity to refuse. She didn't, because she knew this conversation needed to happen. Kaylin nodded, following him as he led her into a familiar sitting room—the same sitting room she had occupied in the past, when she would come to his Castle to ask him a question. She took her usual place and he sat across from her, and although there was no food to be offered this time, the element of tension and danger that she had once come to associate with this room was still there.

She clasped her hands together, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to think that that's the future laid out for my child," she admitted, after a few moments of silence.

"You love the child," said Nightshade, speaking in plain Elantran. He had to, she thought with a frown. The Barrani had no word for love. "Even though it has not come into the world yet, even though it has done nothing to deserve that love."

"Of course," she said numbly.

"You are, or at least some part of you is, human. Such a thing is common in human mothers. It is not…" He paused. "…It is not _entirely _unheard of in Barrani mothers, although they would call it by a different name…"

She nodded once. She remembered the way the previous Consort had spoken when she talked about her wishes for her children. The word had never been mentioned. But it was plainly there.

"…You cannot expect me to admit to the same," he finally said.

"So that's it then?" she asked, his words settling heavily into the air between them. "You don't care?"

He frowned at her, his eyes subtly shifting more towards blue. "…That is not what I said, _Erenne_," he said. "Among the Barrani, bloodlines are valued. Heirs, though they may occasionally stir trouble, are valued as well. But the emotional attachments that you value so highly are…dangerous."

"Because everyone could be an opponent," she said bitterly, keeping her eyes on the table.

Nightshade frowned. The color of his eyes shifted, beginning their transition towards blue. "…You are a Hawk," he finally said. "You have heard of cases before, among mortals, where the heir of a successful or powerful man kills his father, in order to supplant them."

"Yes…" said Kaylin slowly, not sure she liked where this was going. The fieflord sighed, his fingers moving lightly over the armrest of his chair.

"…Such things happen among mortals, where heirs are all but guaranteed that their parents will predecease them, and in a predictable span of time," he said. "Among the Barrani, such things are more complicated. Heirs cannot be certain of their status, or whether or not they will survive to inherit. Many children turn against parents in the long game."

"Do you think that will happen?" asked Kaylin.

"…Perhaps," said Nightshade slowly, weighing his words. "…I cannot predict what the child will do."

She took a deep breath. "…And if it does?" she asked.

Nightshade's expression grew hard. "…I will defend what is mine," he said.

"You'd kill your own child?" asked Kaylin, her hands clenching into fists. She hadn't realized she was angry until she heard the sound of her own voice, echoing in the chamber they sat in.

Nightshade watched her, frowning deeply. "At this time, I do not wish it," he said. He paused for a moment, as if considering the truth of that statement. "It is unlikely that I will wish it. But I play the long game. If the child wishes to play the game as well, I will teach it to do so, so that it does not embarrass me. But should it then stand against me, I will do as I must."

She looked away from him, clenching her fists. She didn't know what to say. His mark on her cheek pulsed again, a soft warmth blossoming over the area, but it did not comfort her this time.

When Nightshade spoke again, he spoke quietly, but his words still carried to her from across the chamber.

"…Isn't it enough, _Erenne_, that I say I will not directly oppose the child if he or she does not oppose me?"

When she didn't respond, his next words came through the link between them, his voice echoing in her mind.

_That is more than most Barrani would concede. _

She looked up at him then, a small amount of surprise in her expression. Nightshade looked at her, meeting her eyes. His were almost entirely blue now.

"…If the child wishes to engage others in the long game in the future, it will be of no consequence to me. If their games lead towards me, I may or may not intervene, depending on the stakes and the consequences. If they prove to be a skilled player, I will admit that that may become a source of pride. But I am Barrani, _Erenne,_ and I am aware that the child will be at least partly so. I will prepare for every eventuality. You cannot expect anything else."

"…I…I know," she said, hesitantly. And she did. She knew that Nightshade had given her more than was expected. She knew that it was more than most Barrani would have conceded to her.

She knew.

"…Yet it still troubles you," said Nightshade.

"Yes…" she said. "It does."

There was a long pause. At last, Nightshade rose to his feet. "You are tired," he said. "You should return to your quarters and rest."

"Where are you going?" asked Kaylin, looking up and watching as he walked over to the door.

"There are things I must still do…" he said.

The door closed, and she was suddenly alone in the sitting room again, more confused than she had been at the beginning.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:**I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

Sorry about the frustrating conversation in the last chapter. Certain things needed to be discussed. ^^ Don't worry. There's a point to all of this tension. And yes, Kaylin is a little more mature in this story than she is in the books. Part of that has to do with the fact that the books show her maturing, and this is set a few years after the series.

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 9**

Nightshade did not come to meet with her that day, or the day after that. He stood outside the Castle to meet her when she returned from the office, and continued to spare her the dizziness the portal caused by carrying her through it, but even on those brief meetings, their conversations were limited. For a while, she was content to let this be, not particularly wanting to talk to him after their previous conversation and not really knowing how, but on the third day of this, she attempted to goad him into a conversation.

It was not very effective.

On the fourth day, Kaylin paced her rooms, wondering if she needed to go after him. By the fifth, she started seeing the irony in this—that she, who had spent so much energy in the past _avoiding _encounters with the fieflord, was now wondering why he wasn't wanting to meet with her.

On the sixth day, she decided that she was simply tired of this, and while Nightshade might have forever to sulk, she certainly didn't have that long to wait for him, or at least, she was fairly certain she didn't, and even if she did, holed up in one wing of the Castle was not how she wanted to spend it. If he didn't come talk to her today, she decided, then she was going to find a way to force a meeting with him tomorrow.

As it turned out, on that day, a knock did come at her door, but the Barrani she found behind it was not the one she expected.

"…Andellen," she said, a hint of surprise in her voice as she stood at the door, one hand on the doorknob.

Andellen looked…nervous. No. Not nervous. Concerned. His face was as impassive as ever, but his eyes were a shifting shade of bright blue that hinted at his uncertainty. If he were human, he might have fidgeted, but he was Barrani, and held himself proud even as he offered her a bow.

"Lord Kaylin," he said. "I wish to speak with you."

"Uh, sure," she said, opening the door of her room wider. "…Do you want to come in?"

It was clearly the wrong thing to say, because Andellen's eyes flared a brighter shade of blue for a moment. "That…" he said. "…would be highlyimproper. If you are not too tired, I would like for you to follow me."

She was tired, but given that it was so rare that Andellen sought her out, her natural curiosity won over her weariness. She nodded, stepping out of her room and following him down the hallway.

He said nothing as he led her through the halls, entering into a familiar room. Kaylin frowned, realizing where he had led her. It was a garden, in the same way that the garden in the High Halls was a garden, but in her eyes it was more like a forest. She let Andellen lead her over to a small pond, and there he stopped, looking out over its edge. Kaylin waited as he gathered his thoughts, fighting the urge to fidget. Immortals had forever, and they showed it in many different ways.

"…In your short life," he finally said. "You have heard many stories. You know that in each story, there is a grain of truth—in some stories more than in others."

She nodded once, deciding not to ask him which stories he was talking about. The story of the creation of the Leontine race, for example, was a much greater story than some tale spun together by a performer on the street.

"I will tell you four stories, of four Lords," said Andellen. "Discern the truth of them on your own."

She hated riddles. But because Andellen was Barrani, and this was probably the closest he could come to telling her the outright truth, she nodded once, and tried to prepare herself to listen.

"Once, there was a Barrani Lord who caused a scandal by running off with her guard," said Andellen quietly, looking out over the garden. "…She had no political reason for doing so, and even ended up taking a position far below her station. The guard himself was someone that would have been considered of little consequence—certainly not so valuable an ally as to be worth this. Because of that, her peers called her weak, but this Lord was full of fire, and she answered with sharp tongue and sharper teeth."

Kaylin sucked in a deep breath at the story. She had only heard the barest hints about the story of Teela and Tain, but it wasn't too hard to know who Andellen was talking about. The Barrani beside her paused for a moment, observing her reaction, before going on.

"Once there were a pair of brothers. Both were great, but the older brother stood to inherit a position much greater than the younger. Because of this, it was expected that the two would war, that the younger brother would attempt to displace his elder, or that the elder would attempt to eliminate the threat that the younger posed. But instead, not only did the brothers refuse to fight, at a moment when the younger brother need not raise a finger, at the moment when all the younger brother needed to do was wait, and time would deliver his elder's position to him, he chose not to. He begged the help of a mortal girl, so that his brother could live and surpass him, and he could fade quietly into the outermost lands under our control. For this it is said that he bestowed upon the mortal the title of _kyuthe_, a term seldom heard amongst members of the Barrani race."

"…The High Lord and the Lord of the West March," Kaylin said slowly, listening intently now. Andellen didn't pause, he simply went on, his eyes fixed on some far off point.

"Once there were two Lords," she said. "They were in some fashion, said to be friends. One was the son of the High Lord, second in line to the throne. The other was a man of high birth and unpredictable temper. The first Lord was widely admired for his grace and his skill at playing the game. The second a dark one, of wild moods and shifting motives. Even then, he was considered a wild card, something to be feared. It was expected due to their close acquaintance that one of them would destroy the other, for it was clear that any alliance between them would be doomed from the start. Their motives ran directly counter."

Andellen paused. If he had been human, she would have said it had been for breath, but it was not. It was the deep, quiet pause of someone recalling a memory.

"It is said that the dark Lord betrayed the High Court, and that on the eve of his betrayal, the Lords dueled. It is said that they fought with fire and sword, and both drew blood that day. It is not known who came out the victor. But it is known that both survived, and it is known that both have not raised hand to each other since. One became Outcaste. His motives remain a mystery. The other retreated to his lands, where it is said that he still speaks the dark Lord's name."

Nightshade.

She knew it then, as clearly as she had known anything. She could still see the look in the Lord of the West March's eye as he gave her his parting words.

_Tell him we still speak his name…_

Andellen wasn't done. His stance had shifted somewhat, his shoulders slumping, and although she couldn't see his eyes, she knew that the next story was one that carried more weight.

"…Once there was a man of low birth who had the misfortune of encountering a Lord," he said. "This man was no better than a thief, but he was not willing to admit defeat. He fought the Lord, and was soundly bested. At this moment, the man, barely a few centuries old, believed that he was going to die. But he did not. And thus, this man became a watcher. He served, and he watched, and he learned. He observed as stories unfolded before his eyes, and he remembered them. One day, he thought himself ready to take the Test of Name. He survived, and he entered the High Court for the first time. One could say that this man now Lord and the Lord that had spared him were friends."

"He was not there when this Lord betrayed the High Court. But he was there when the verdict was handed down, in front of the entire assembly, by the man who was High Lord then. He heard the High Lord's warning, that any who followed him would be treated as he was. Clearly, it would have been foolish to follow him—to walk away from the status he had gained. But the man left the Court anyway, believing he would never return unless he renounced his Lord. He might never have returned, had he not met with a mortal girl—called _kyuthe _by one Lord, _Erenne _by another, kitling by a third, and for this unexpected kindness, Lord by a fourth."

Andellen looked up at her now, and she stared at him, unable to breathe for a moment. His eyes were a deep brown, flecked throughout by hints of blue and green. The Barrani Lord held her gaze for a moment, and Kaylin found it hard to look away.

"…We are not all the same," he finally said. "We are simply better at concealing what needs to be concealed…and worse at revealing what needs to be revealed."

She stood there, frozen in place as she considered what he told her.

She was still standing there long after he left her.

XxXxX

That night, Kaylin dreamed she was running.

It wasn't a bad dream, or at least, it didn't start out that way. She was running through the fief of Nightshade—or at least, through something that looked very much like Nightshade. It wasn't truly Nightshade—it was cleaner, more ordered, and the buildings were newer. But the layout of the streets and the sight of the Castle in the distance was very much the same.

Someone ran beside her, although for some reason, Kaylin couldn't turn her eyes towards them to see them. She knew they were there, though, could hear the faint laughter that echoed from beside her as they ran. And for some reason that made her smile, as the two of them paused for a minute to catch their breath.

That was about the moment when things started to go sour.

It started with the sky turning red. The buildings around her began to crumble, turning black to match with the red sky. Kaylin stared, the marks on her arms and legs suddenly flaring to life and burning painfully across her skin as the very sky of the fief seemed to come apart, claws tearing through the red sky. A dark shape began to slide out through it, its eyes fixed on her.

She took a step back unconsciously, her eyes widening.

_Chosen…_it called.

She could hear its voice echoing in her mind, and she took a deep breath.

_Come to me, Chosen. _

_No. _

_Come, _it said more insistently.

_No! _she replied again.

It called again, and this time, Kaylin could feel it pull, tugging at something in her very soul. Runes formed in the air in front of her, a familiar set of curves and dots that Kaylin realized with a start was her name. She could see it—the small part that she had shaded in with her thoughts and memories—infinitely small, but continuing to grow. And she could also see the darkness creeping into it, starting with the first stroke.

The Dragon pulled at it, and Kaylin felt herself being tugged forward. She grabbed at it, her eyes wide as she held her name close to herself.

"NO!" she yelled, digging her heels into the ground of the fief. She felt herself continue to be pulled forward despite her resistance, pulled towards that gaping hole in the sky.

_Why do you refuse…? Look around. There is nothing for you here. _

Kaylin's eyes widened, and she looked around for the first time. The buildings had crumbled, and many dark shapes lay motionless on the streets. Some of them weren't human. Many of them weren't human, she realized as the scene came into focus. Their dark hair spilled over their shoulders, armor glittering in the red sunlight.

She saw Andellen, and Samaran, and Severn.

As she turned her head, she saw the shape of Castle Nightshade shatter, several black shards disappearing in the air as the fief began to crumble.

She screamed, and she felt her control wane, felt the Dragon pull her forward with a strong tug.

_There is nothing for you here…_he repeated.

Kaylin looked down again, and saw that there was another dark shape amidst the bodies that lay motionless on the fief floor.

A dark shape. A smaller shape. One with its back turned towards her.

If she were awake, she might have been furious. If she were awake, her magic might have come at her call.

But this was a dream. And she screamed as she was brought closer to the dark shadow.

Screamed and screamed and screamed…

XxXxX

Kaylin awoke to someone shaking her shoulder, gently but firmly. A voice hovered above her, calling her over and over again.

"_Erenne…Erenne…"_

Her eyes snapped open, and she took a deep breath, sitting up in bed.

Nightshade stood in front of her, his eyes a bright blue that would have startled her, if they weren't such a welcome relief from the world of her dream. She took a shuddering breath and hugged her arms close to herself, realizing now that she was shaking. The sheets of her bed were twisted, her blanket balled up and tossed to one side and her pillows on the floor.

"N-Nightshade," she said, once she had found her voice. "The Outcaste—the child—."

_Calm yourself, Erenne…_Nightshade's voice echoed in her mind, driving back some of her terror as his hand landed lightly on hers. He said nothing out loud, his expression unchanging as he spoke, and his eyes never once changing color. _You are safe. The child is safe. The Dragon Outcaste will not reach you._

She pulled closer to him, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. His hands were on her almost instantly, one arm pulling her close and the other rubbing slow, comforting circles on her back. For her part, she enveloped herself in him, breathing in his scent, taking in his warmth, burying herself in the presence that wrapped around her through their link until the Dragon Outcaste was the furthest thing from her mind. She didn't cry, but she could feel herself shake as he held her, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she rested her head against his chest.

Once she was calm enough to speak, she took a deep breath, looking up at him.

"…That…wasn't just a nightmare…was it…?" she said. Her voice was hushed, but it sounded unnaturally loud in the quiet of her bedroom.

Nightshade was silent for a long moment.

"No, _Erenne," _he finally said. "…I don't believe so."

"He tried…" Another breath. "He tried to take my…my name—." Nightshade's grip tightened on her possessively at the word, and she could sense his anger through their mark. She ignored it for now. "What…what would have happened if he had succeeded?"

"…He would have taken you," replied Nightshade, and despite his usual skill at hiding it, she could sense the anger in his voice. His eyes were so blue they almost _glowed_. "You would have been his…"

"He…It didn't work…" said Kaylin quietly.

"It did not," agreed Nightshade. "…You would know, if it had worked. But your name still rings true within you. It is not his to hold."

Kaylin shuddered, another thought coming to her. She didn't want to ask it, but she was a Hawk. She had been trained to ask questions, trained to get the full sense of the situation. She knew she needed to know.

"How…" she began. "How close…?" She trailed off, unable to voice the last words. She felt Nightshade pull her closer, his lips lightly brushing the top of her head. From the link between them, she could feel his anger.

_Too close, Erenne. Too close. _

His words drew another shudder from her, and she nodded once, taking that into account. Too close. She wasn't even safe in her dreams. If Nightshade had been just a little bit later…

_Do not think that way. _Nightshade's voice in her mind was insistent. _I will not allow him to take you from me._

She wanted to believe it. She really wanted to. But her mind kept going back to the images she had seen during the attack, to Nightshade sitting in bed with his chest wrapped up in bandages. A few years ago, she might have been completely confident in that. Now, she wasn't too sure.

She didn't voice her uncertainty out loud, but she felt like he heard it anyway. He pulled away, his hands slowly unwinding from around her.

"Sleep," he said. "I will keep watch."

She didn't think she would be able to fall asleep. But when he lay down beside her and held her again, she managed to anyway.

XxXxX

When she awoke the next morning, she was alone. Kaylin sat up and looked around, but the bed held no indication of having another occupant the night before. This didn't surprise her. Nightshade was Barrani. She wasn't surprised if that meant he could slide out of bed without leaving much of a disturbance behind him, as infuriatingly perfect as they all were. Her eyes traveled over to the window. It was bright, telling her that it was probably already late in the morning, closer to noon.

Well, it wasn't the latest she had risen, and she didn't have to come in to work today.

With a small groan, she stretched her arms out over her head, then slowly slid herself out of bed, one hand on her stomach as she tried to keep her balance. She wondered for a moment if Barrani women ever felt this ungraceful when they were pregnant, but doubted it. If it were Teela, she would probably find some way to make looking like a whale and waddling around like a duck look good.

Well, there wasn't any point in wandering it now. So, the first order of business for the morning…where had Nightshade disappeared to?

Kaylin padded over to her door, opening it and looking up and down the hallway. She heard the faint murmurs of voices that told her someone else was here. She frowned, letting the room door close behind her and walking out into the entrance hall, where the voices were coming from. As she drew closer, she could tell that the speakers were both male. One voice was Nightshade's. The other was a voice she had heard before, but it didn't belong to any Barrani.

Her suspicions were confirmed as she rounded the corner into the entrance hall, staring at the man that stood there.

Well, not a man.

A Dragon. Specifically, a Dragon fieflord. And one whose eyes were a shade of gold just a _little _too orange for her liking.

"Kaylin," said Tiamaris. "It is good to see you well."

"Ti-Tiamaris," said Kaylin, her eyes drifting over towards Nightshade. Unlike Tiamaris's eyes, which reflected slight irritation, Nightshade's were almost fully blue.

"Good morning,_ Erenne_," he said. "I trust your sleep was restful?"

She ignored him for now, not liking where this was going. "What are you doing here?" she asked the Dragon Lord.

"Lord Nightshade requested a favor last night," replied Tiamaris. "…Tara is rather excited at the prospect."

Realization struck Kaylin then. Her fists clenched, and she rounded on to Nightshade. "…You didn't," she said.

"As I have said before," said Nightshade coolly. "It is safer for you outside this fief."

"You didn't even _ask _me!" said Kaylin.

"Because I was well aware of what your reaction would be if I did," said Nightshade, his expression impassive.

"What the hell gives you the right to decide these things for me?" asked Kaylin, angrily.

"I am Lord of this fief. I can do what I wish with what resides in it. You know that this is for your own safety. You are being an unreasonable mortal."

"And you are being an arrogant ass," countered Kaylin.

Tiamaris cleared his throat, cutting off Nightshade's reply. The both of them turned towards him. Nightshade's eyes were a bright blue from the interruption. Kaylin's did not change color, but from the look in them, it was clear that if they did, they would look about the same.

"…I will leave you two to exchange…pleasantries," said the Dragon. "…Kaylin, when you are ready, I will wait for you outside."

Kaylin clenched her fists, watching as Tiamaris left. She turned back towards Nightshade.

"_Erenne," _began the Barrani fieflord.

In response, she growled a Leontine word at him as she walked off to her room to gather her things.

It was definitely not a pleasantry.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:**I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

It's occurred to me now that almost all of the CoE fics written recently can be read as occurring in the same continuity XD. Kaylin has a run-in with Evarrim and goes to Castle Nightshade, Teela and Tain make a bet about that, _Erenne _happens a few years later…etc.

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 10**

Kaylin watched as Tara held out the small basket of vegetables to the little girl in front of her, a small smile on her face as she took on the look of wonder on the child's face. She was a scrawny thing, barefoot like most fief children, and the dress she wore had seen better days, but she had obviously been scrubbed clean this morning for this meeting, and the blond color of her hair was actually recognizable.

She had to admit, Tiamaris and Tara had done a good job on this place.

"Thank you, Lady," said the girl politely, giving Tara a grin that revealed one of her teeth was missing. Tara patted the girl on the head, sending her off with a kind word, and Kaylin watched as she turned and ran delightedly down the street. The street had changed as well, becoming wider and cleaner. Some of the main streets had even been paved. It wasn't a perfect place. It was a fief and would never quite be a perfect place, but if someone had to grow up in the fiefs, the way it was looking now, Tiamaris would be their best bet.

Her smile faded slightly as a thought occurred to her, one hand rubbing her stomach idly. Tiamaris was a Lord of the Dragon Court, and he ruled the fief like a Dragon would rule—he made sure it was clean and orderly, that there were laws, and that even though he occasionally delegated authority, he was unquestionably in charge. It was almost like a mirror—not a _perfect _mirror—but a mirror of how the Emperor ruled Elantra.

Nightshade had been a Lord of the Barrani Court. She had never really thought about it this way, but the Long Halls…almost seemed to mirror the High Halls in a way. There were secret places, there was a garden, there was a heart known only to few, there was water beneath it, there were those who were favored and those who weren't, there was a Lord…and now, she supposed, there was a Consort…and there would be an heir…

For some reason, the thought made her slightly uncomfortable. But then again, thinking of Nightshade nowadays made her slightly uncomfortable.

"Do you like my garden, Kaylin?" asked Tara, giving her a smile. The Avatar's voice shook her out of her thoughts, and she nodded once, looking over the scene in front of her.

"It's looking great," she said. "You're growing more things than last time."

Tara beamed. "It is because more people want them," she said. "But others are learning how to make gardens of their own. Soon the fief will have more of them."

The idea of a fief, any fief, being full of growing things was an idea so alien to her that she wasn't particularly sure how she felt about it. She hugged her arms to herself, lowering her eyes to the ground and hoping that Tara wouldn't notice. But unfortunately, because Tara was the Avatar of the Tower and always knew more than she should, she did.

"…You have been very quiet these past few days," said Tara, frowning. "It is unlike you. Is it because the child is changing your mood?"

At Kaylin's puzzled look, Tara went on. "…Morse was kind enough to explain to me that when women are with child, they do not always act like themselves. Is that not true?"

She wondered for a moment exactly what had happened to get Morse and Tara to have _that _conversation. Kaylin shook her head, looking up at Tara's concerned face. "It's true," she said. "But that's not it…"

"Then…perhaps you are concerned about Lord Nightshade?" asked Tara.

Kaylin's frown deepened. Just the mention of his name brought up all of the thoughts that had been turning around in her head for the past few days—thoughts of their past together, thoughts of the present, and also thoughts of their future. Almost unconsciously, she reached up a hand, her fingers brushing against his mark on her cheek. She still remembered the way that he held her, but also the way that he sent her away, the time that they spoke of a name for the child, and the time that he coldly stated that if the child turned against him, he would act…

She didn't know how to describe it—the confused tangle of emotions she felt for him. She wasn't sure if 'concerned' was the right word, but she couldn't think of another word to use. She was angry with him over what he had said, annoyed with him for how he had sent her away, and afraid of what would happen in the future. But she was also afraid that he would never send for her again, and worried about the situation in the fief.

There was a time when all she wanted was for him to ignore her. But now that she hadn't seen him in days, his face seemed to be all she saw. She couldn't understand why part of her was glad to be here, away from danger and away from him, and another part of her wanted to pack up her small room and come running back. She couldn't understand why she missed him so much—the Barrani fieflord that had so invaded her mind and her life.

Tara's frown deepened, and for a moment, Kaylin could feel the Tower probing, cautiously skimming the surface of her thoughts. She didn't do it so often now, probably because she didn't want too many people to feel uncomfortable around her, but there were times when she would snatch a thought out of the air without realizing it.

"Kaylin…" said Tara, quietly. "Do you love him?"

Tara's question made her stop, looking up at the Avatar of the Tower. She could remember a similar question posed to her, years ago, as she and Severn walked along the banks of the Ablayne, the day after she had gone to Nightshade for the first time. She had spoken as gently as she could, stammering the whole way, and Severn had said nothing, not asking any questions and waiting until she was finished. She avoided looking in his eyes, because she had always been afraid of what she would see with them. But as they stopped by the banks of the river, he had looked her in the eye and asked her one question.

"_Do you love him?"_

At that time, the question had made her freeze, and she had ended up stammering out some sort of evasion, dodging the question in an awkward way as she tried to collect her thoughts. Because how could she love him? How could she admit to being in love with someone whose language did not even have a word for it? How could she…?

Severn had understood. He always understood, and he simply stopped her from answering his question…

Now was different. Now, as Tara asked it, she knew the answer to her question, and she also knew why it was causing her so much pain.

"…Yes…" she said quietly. "Yes, I think I do…"

"But you hurt…" said Tara. She raised her hand, pressing it to her own chest, above where her heart would be if she had one. "This knowledge hurts you here."

"…Because he doesn't love me back," said Kaylin. "…The Barrani don't have a word for love."

Tara's frown deepened. "If I do not know the word for darkness, does that mean my world is always in light?" she asked. "…If I do not know the word for water, does that mean that in my world, it does not rain? Words are simply ways in which we shape the world around us. The absence of a word does not make a thing cease to exist."

Kaylin stared mutely at Tara for a few moments, trying to collect her thoughts. "But…" she said. "If your language doesn't have a word for something, that means it's something that wouldn't be valued as much," she said.

"Does Elantran have a word for 'nostalgic happiness acquired from watching a carefree child'?" asked Tara. "It does not. And yet, it is something that you value. Love is simply something that is, whether it can be spoken of or not. It may simply be more difficult to express, when it is something that cannot be plainly known."

"Tara…" began Kaylin. "He's…" She paused. How could she explain it? Kaylin opened her mind towards Tara, trying to convey the knowledge she had about Nightshade. He played the long game, she knew that much. If he didn't see her as something that could be useful in the future, he saw her as an interesting diversion, something he wanted to claim—like the statues in his throne room…

Tara shook her head, her shoulders slumping slightly. It was a very human gesture, and a small detached part of Kaylin's mind wondered where she had learned it. "…Perhaps I speak in error," she said. "I do not know much about love, other than what I have seen. But if I were to say that I love my lord, you would not challenge me, even though to me, you could say that he is simply another fieflord that I could use to keep myself alive. If he said that he loved me, you would not challenge him, although it could be said that I am simply part of his hoard."

Kaylin stared, unable to say much after that.

XxXxX

She awoke in the night to what felt like a cold hand of ice, gripping her heart.

Kaylin sat up, her eyes wide. Her room in the Tower was quiet, the only sound coming from the rustling of wind through the curtains and the beating of her own heart. Kaylin looked around, half-expecting to see a black Dragon come crawling through the door, but when she saw nothing, she took several breaths, trying to calm herself down and go back to sleep.

It didn't work. She still felt restless, a sort of tense energy filling her as she sat in bed. She bit her lip, staring down at her marks.

They had begun to glow with a faint light, without her even noticing. Silently cursing herself for her inattentiveness, she got out of bed, walking across the room towards the door that led into the hallway.

The Tower was completely still, but she still couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. She walked without knowing where she was going, but something must have been leading her, because she found herself climbing a staircase towards a balcony. With each step she took, the marks on her arms grew brighter and brighter, and by the time she reached the door to the balcony, there was a definite glow over her arms and legs, the lines of the marks traced out in blue fire.

Tara stood at the edge of the balcony, looking out over the fiefs. Her back was rigid, and as she turned towards Kaylin, her eyes were a deep obsidian black. Like this, she looked less like the childish figure that followed Tiamaris around, and more like what she was, the ancient Avatar of the Tower. Kaylin came to stand next to Tara and realized with a chill that the horizon that marked the border of the fief shone a dull red.

"…_Ravellon _comes forth," said Tara. Her voice was quiet, but it carried a lot of weight. "My Lord moves to fortify our border, but the Outcaste is not attacking there yet."

"Where is he attacking?" asked Kaylin, even though she already knew the answer. Tara's eyes fixed her, eerily black and empty. When she spoke, her words had a finality to them that rang like the pounding of a judge's gavel.

"The fief of Nightshade."


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:**I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

A lot of stuff happens in this chapter. ^^ Hope that it still turns out well for you guys! Enjoy!

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 11**

Kaylin stared up at the foreboding shape of Castle Nightshade. It had shifted to reflect the nightmare going on around it, becoming a dark structure against a blood red sky. This was the shape that defined her childhood, lurking in the background and quietly reminding her that the true dangers of the fief weren't the men that haunted it or the Ferals that invaded its streets. It was the shape that defined her adolescence, appearing in her dreams and memories. And it was the shape that defined her adulthood, keeping her tied to this fief like an anchor.

All around her, she could feel the signs of battle raging. Makuron's roar tore through the streets. The Barrani, for the most part, were silent, but occasionally she could hear a roar or a growl of pain that told her someone had been successful in landing a hit. She could only imagine what was going on at the border, at the front lines.

But for now, she had another task to do.

Kaylin stared at the portal in front of her, taking a deep breath. Tara's words from their conversation earlier rang into her mind, as well as Nightshade's words from a conversation that seemed like it was a lifetime ago.

"_The Castle will defend its Lord. And you are tied to its Lord, in a definite way. It will listen to you, if you implore it…" _

"…_You are Erenne. It will accept you, in time…" _

She took a deep breath. There wasn't any time for second guesses, or doubts. With a look of determination on her face, Kaylin stepped in, bracing herself and walking through the portal.

It didn't deposit her ungracefully onto the floor of the entrance hall, like it did on most days. Instead, she hovered there, feeling as though she was floating in water as she submitted herself to the Castle's regard. She could feel its hostility towards her—or at least what would have been hostility, if something like stone could feel, and could feel something that almost felt like jealousy. Kaylin looked around and noticed that the runes on her skin hovered about an inch above it in this space, surrounding her protectively and shining bright.

_You are not welcome here. _

She didn't hear it as a voice, not the same way that Nightshade spoke to her, and not even the same way as Tara spoke to her. But the sentiment echoed inside of her, and although she didn't technically hear it, she understood.

…_Look, _she thought towards it. _I don't like this either, but I don't think either of us want to be controlled by Makuron. Do you? _

It wasn't the most graceful way of talking to an entity like the Castle, but Kaylin had a feeling sentient buildings weren't covered in her classes on racial integration. She felt the Castle's quiet contemplation for a moment more, before it responded.

_If I aid you, Chosen, what will you give me? _

_A word, _replied Kaylin. It was the right answer. She didn't know how she knew, but she knew. She eyed the words that hovered around her, remembering the few she had used before.

…_What word will you give me, Chosen? _

_Whatever you want. _

_Choose. Choose your word. I will decide if it is suitable for me. _

Kaylin took a deep breath, staring at the words around her. She finally selected one golden rune, holding her hand out towards it. It hurt as she brushed her fingers against it, seeming sharp at first, but as she reached out and grabbed it, she realized that it was actually supple underneath. Not any less strong, but more willing to bend.

She pushed the rune into the void, watching as its gold light was quickly swallowed up by something bright blue.

The whole world seemed to pause for breath as the Castle considered, and then blue light answered in return.

_I accept your word, _it said, the world around her beginning to fade and depositing her on her feet outside the Castle again. She was pleased to discover that she didn't feel quite so dizzy this time. Instead, an undercurrent of power ran through her, making the runes on her arms itch. _Aid my Lord. _

The Castle's presence left her, but its power remained. Kaylin took a deep breath, turning her eyes towards the border. She suddenly knew which way the battle was, without needing to ask.

Aid my Lord, the Castle had said.

She left as quickly as she could, making her way towards the border of the fief.

XxXxX

By the time she arrived at the edge of the fiefs, the battle was in full swing. Kaylin could still feel the power she had borrowed from the Castle burning in her blood, the marks on her arms and legs flaring a bright gold. She knew where Nightshade was without even looking for him, knowing beyond any doubt that he was at the edge of the fief, fighting back Makuron. She found Andellen and the rest of Nightshade's guards a few feet away from the battle, fighting against the Shadows that had risen up from the border of the fief.

Dimly, she heard Andellen call out to her as she walked past him, but she ignored him, her eyes fixed on the Barrani fieflord in front of her as he landed on the ground, in a graceful flurry of dark robes and silver armor. She opened her mouth, a single word spilling past her lips.

_Calarnenne…_

He turned his head, fixing her with a bright blue stare. Kaylin watched as Nightshade jumped back, smoothly avoiding one of Makuron's claws as _Meliannos _trailed through the air, leaving a line of dark blood in its wake. His voice was cool in her mind.

_Erenne. You should not be here. _

_Maybe not. But I'm here anyway, _she replied.

_You do not have your magic. _

_I have something more. _

Kaylin felt Nightshade frown, felt him search through the link between them. She felt his slight surprise, just as she saw Makuron rear up and pull back his head, his wings forming a dark shape across the red sky.

_Erenne…_said Nightshade. _What have you done? _

Makuron breathed, sending a curtain of red fire towards them. Nightshade moved, _Meliannos _in hand as he whispered the words that would guard them from the flames. She saw them take shape around him, forming a barrier between Makuron, him, and her. Kaylin watched as the fire rushed towards them, feeling its heat crackle in the air between her and the Dragon. She opened her mouth, the Castle's power still burning inside of her, and spoke a word.

Water rushed out from under the ground, forming a shield in front of them. It bolstered Nightshade's barrier, catching the fire. In that instant, she saw Nightshade turn towards her, and although his face was impassive, she thought she saw his eyes flash a shade of brownish-gold. It could have been the light. He stepped back, and although she could feel the surprise through their link, he didn't show it in his movements.

_I see you have once again involved yourself in something better left alone. _

It wasn't a scolding. Instead, it was simply a statement of fact, mixed in with equal parts exasperation and amusement. If it had been said differently, it might have been a joke. Kaylin felt a smile come onto her face, although she was still watching the wall of water with the Castle's eyes.

…_Where would we be if I followed all of your instructions? _she asked. Her eyes stared at the dark shape through the wall, and she held her hand out, her palm facing it. _I'm going to give you an opening. Are you ready? _

_You insult me, Erenne. _

She muttered something colorful under her breath about arrogant Barrani, letting the power pulse through her hand. The wall of water pushed back, tearing through Makuron's fire. Nightshade moved behind it, too fast for her eyes to track as he gripped _Meliannos _in both hands. He jumped up an almost impossible height as the water and flames parted, _Meliannos's _blade glowing brightly as he brought it down, the blade cutting through Makuron's scales and sliding down the side of his face.

Makuron roared in pain, retreating behind the border. Dark blood streamed in his wake, hissing as it struck the ground. Nightshade landed neatly, his eyes a brilliant blue as his curtain of dark hair fell around him. Kaylin felt her marks flare up as the gap in the border began to fade, the tear slowly coming closer together.

She exhaled under her breath as it all went quiet, lowering her arms. Nightshade was in front of her almost in an instant, _Meliannos's _hilt clutched in one hand as he stood in front of her.

She gave him a sheepish smile. He frowned down at her, his hand going up to cup her cheek. His fingers brushed against the mark slightly, his eyes still a deep blue. Without thinking about it, her hand rose to cover his, keeping it there.

"…You…" he finally said. "…can be quite the nuisance."

_Get rid of me, then, _she thought, jokingly.

His response was so serious it unnerved her for a moment.

_Never, Erenne. Never. _

She stared up at him, her eyes wide. He said nothing, his thumb brushing lightly over her bottom lip.

A roar came up from the fading portal, pulling her away from Nightshade suddenly and dragging her towards it. Kaylin's eyes widened as she felt herself get pulled. She saw Nightshade reach for her, his hand just barely missing hers as he grabbed at empty air. She heard him say a word. His tone made her recognize it as a curse word, but it wasn't one she had heard before.

"Nightshade!" she shouted, struggling against Makuron's grip. His grip on her wasn't physical, but it was just as persuasive. It dragged her towards the border, no matter how much she struggled, no matter how much she tried to dig her heels into the ground.

"_Erenne!" _called Nightshade, holding _Meliannos _in both hands again.

Kaylin's eyes widened in fear, and she struggled, feeling herself get closer to the border. Nightshade ran towards her, and she saw him crash against something, somehow managing to look graceful even as he bounced right off the barrier and landed on the ground a few inches away. She felt herself get pulled closer, and she clenched her fists, trying to pull away again.

_Erenne, I cannot reach you, _said Nightshade's voice in her mind. _You must help me. _

_How? _She practically screamed the question at him. _What can I do? _

_Your name, _replied Nightshade. _You must give me your name. _

_My name? _she repeated.

Could she give Nightshade her name? If she gave him her name, it would mean that he could control her? Would he do that?

He was Barrani, and not to be trusted. That was something she knew, almost as certainly as she knew her name, almost as certainly as she knew him. But he stared at her now, and there was genuine urgency in his voice, genuine worry drifting through the link between them. Kaylin stared at him, her eyes wide and her lips moving soundlessly. She tried, but the syllables of her name, so carefully guarded inside of her, refused to come.

Why? Did that mean she didn't trust Nightshade enough? Well, of course she didn't. It wasn't smart to.

But she was in love with him.

Was that a feeling he could ever return?

Her foot passed through the wall into _Ravellon_, followed by her left hand. Nightshade called for her again, and Kaylin's eyes widened as she saw him, digging her heels into the ground and trying to stop herself as the Outcaste pulled her in further, pulling viciously at her name.

_Erenne, _said Nightshade again. _You must—_

_E…_she tried, her eyes widening in fear as she felt the Outcaste pull her towards him again, trying to stop her. _Ella—Ellar—_

The Outcaste pulled her towards him again, and Kaylin could feel herself sliding back, could feel her body falling back into the heart of the fiefs, so that only her head and her right hand remained across the border. She caught sight of Nightshade's eyes as he tried to reach for her, the brilliant blue she saw in them.

_Erenne! _

She squeezed her eyes shut then, the syllables of her name tumbling breathlessly through the air between them.

…_Ellariayn…_

She felt Nightshade take a hold of them, saw for a moment, through his eyes, she saw herself sliding deeper and deeper into _Ravellon. _She felt his rage more keenly than she had ever felt it, and she felt something else, something driving that rage. Something that felt very much like fear, although she knew he would never admit it.

_ELLARIAYN!_

It was like getting struck by lightning. One moment, she was in Makuron's grasp, getting pulled into _Ravellon_, and in the next, she was ripped viciously from the border, propelled bodily towards Nightshade like from a slingshot. He caught her in his arms as the gap in the border faded away, holding her tightly as the Dragon on the other side let out a defeated roar. Nightshade kept one arm around her, the other raising up towards him, and the waters she had brought earlier rose up in defiance, streaming towards him through the rapidly closing gap.

The Dragon's roar faded away, the gap in the border closing and the sky above the fief becoming black and star-filled again.

Kaylin's knees buckled, and she would have collapsed if Nightshade hadn't been holding her, his arms wrapped around her tightly and pulling her to him. His mouth moved, and she felt rather than saw him whispering the same word over and over again.

_Ellariayn…Ellariayn…Ellariayn…_

She shivered as the syllables of her name rang through her, grabbing hold of the front of his robes with one hand and resting her head against his chest. His armor was cold and somewhat uncomfortable, but at the moment, she didn't care—as wrapped up as she was in the heat of him and the closeness of their names.

_Calarnenne…_she whispered once, as if to confirm that she heard. Their names wove into each other, intertwining and tangling with each other in a way that made it difficult for her to tell, at the moment, where her name ended and his began.

It was over. They had won. At least for now, the world could be quiet and peaceful again.

_Calarnenne…_she said again, quietly, biting her lip.

It was over.

…But not quite.

Kaylin's eyes widened as she felt a sudden jolt of pain, and she straightened up, one arm suddenly wrapping around her stomach. Nightshade looked down at her, and she saw his eyes—eyes that had already begun their transition towards deep green—begin to shade towards blue again.

"_Erenne," _he said. "Is it—?"

"Yes," said Kaylin quickly, nodding once. There was no mistaking that. "Yes, it's time."

XxXxX

All in all, it wasn't as bad as Kaylin expected. There was pain, but she had felt pain before, and she was ready for the pain. She had attended enough bad births to know how things could go wrong, and given her track record for attracting disaster, she had half-expected something horrible to go wrong, but it seemed like the gods were smiling on her for once. A midwife had been brought in, but given the late hour and the urgency, it hadn't been from the midwives' guild. Instead it had been a terrified young woman from the fiefs, who seemed to know what she was doing and was street smart enough to keep quiet about it.

The whole process took an annoying few hours, and Kaylin was sure that the sun rose at some point in the middle of that. She stopped paying attention. She did remember cursing Nightshade quite a bit. He stood there and endured it with the same maddeningly condescending smile on his face that he had used the first time she had dined with him.

If anything, the whole process seemed to serve to remind her that this was definitely her child. It couldn't come at a decent hour, and it had to be at what was the most inconvenient moment.

But as she lay there on the bed when it was over, catching her breath and listening to the silence, it occurred to her that that was what it was. Silent. The midwife had long since been dismissed, and only she and Nightshade remained in the small bedroom that wasn't her quarters. She, Nightshade, and what was supposed to be the child.

Her heart sank like a stone, cold fear gripping her.

She had attended countless births before. It was _never _silent. There were always people talking, babies crying, people congratulating the mother or commenting on the child. This time, there was none of that. She looked up, afraid of what she would see, and propped herself up on her elbows.

Nightshade stood at the foot of the bed, holding a small, silent bundle. His eyes were a deep blue, his expression unreadable as he studied it. Kaylin felt the fear she had been holding back rush through her in a wave as she stared at the unmoving bundle of cloth.

No.

This couldn't be happening.

No.

"N-Nightshade…" said Kaylin, quietly. "Is…is it…?"

Nightshade's eyes flicked towards her, and she could feel something through the link between them. It wasn't quite the same, but if he weren't Barrani, she would have said that it was grief.

No…even if he were Barrani, she would have said that it was grief.

Her heart seemed to sink even further, but Nightshade shook his head.

"No, _Erenne,_" he said. "The child is not dead. She sleeps."

She. That statement seemed slightly less important now, especially when coupled with Nightshade's words. For a moment, Kaylin didn't understand his meaning. Sleeps? Babies didn't sleep, not right after they were born. Not unless there was something terribly wrong. But Nightshade's eyes fixed hers again, and he repeated the words.

"She _sleeps_, _Erenne_," he said.

Sleeps.

Barrani infants didn't wake. Not until they had her name.

A sudden sense of relief flooded her, and she felt almost giddy. She looked up at Nightshade. "The High Halls," she said. "That's all we have to do, right? We have to take her to the High Halls?"

Nightshade looked at her again, and this time, as he spoke, she understood. She knew why he seemed almost grieved as he stood there, watching her. When he spoke, he spoke very slowly, as if he were speaking to a child, or about to deliver terrible news.

"_Erenne…" _he said. "I am Outcaste."

She stared at him numbly, her mind working through the implications of that.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **Sorry this took so long! I got caught up with school and all of that, and I've started reading _Cast in Peril. _Sadly...it does not have as much Nightshade as I thought it would, but it makes up for it by having a lot of explanation on the Barrani Court and a lot of Teela. Oh, and Nightshade, in the background, being Nightshade.

To those of you who have read/are reading it now, is it just me, or is Nightshade trolling the entire Court? XD In light of _Cast in Peril_, I've added a few lines of dialogue to some of the scenes. No _substantial _spoilers, just stuff that seemed appropriate concerning some of the revelations behind the mindsets of certain characters. ^^ Also, if you **have **read it, as of posting time, I haven't finished it. Do not mention anything about the ending in the reviews, please and thank you.

Anyway, second to the last chapter!

**Disclaimer:**I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 12**

Kaylin stared down at the child in her arms as the carriage made its quick pace through the city streets towards the High Halls. Her fingers lightly brushed against the child's cheek, her fingertips brushing some of the infant's deep black hair aside as she studied her face. She could see a little bit of herself in the child's face, a sign that she wasn't fully Barrani, but the fact that they were on their way to the High Halls now made her one in all the ways that counted.

Andellen sat across from her, his face a practiced mask of stony silence. Nightshade had given him the job of escorting her here and protecting her. She was grateful for it, because she wasn't entirely sure what they would be dealing with when they got there, nor was she entirely certain that she could gather her wits around her enough to hold a coherent conversation with either the High Lord or the Consort. Her conversation with Nightshade from just a few hours ago still echoed in her mind. Nightshade, predictably, did not think that the High Lord would be moved to allow for the naming of the child, but Kaylin went anyway. Nightshade didn't argue against her insistence to go to the High Halls. He had only insisted she take Andellen with her.

He thought it unlikely that anything would change, but he had sent her anyway.

And as he turned away from her and Andellen to walk back through the portcullis and into the Castle, she thought she had seen something in his eye, felt something through the newly-strengthened bond between them.

He hoped.

Words tumbled end over end through her mind, words from a time that suddenly seemed so long ago. To the Barrani...hope was a single-edged sword. It only cut one way. Inward.

She ran her thumb lightly over the infant's closed eyes and swallowed, trying to disperse the knot in her throat. It wouldn't do any good to show up at the High Halls close to tears, even if she had been teetering on that verge for a while now.

Her daughter breathed, but just slightly. That was enough to hurt—to remind her that the infant's existence hung on what would happen today. But it was also enough to remind her that all wasn't lost yet. She held onto the child's hand lightly, marveling at the perfect set of fingers that hung limply in her much larger hand as Andellen watched in silence. Her eyes hardened, and she took a deep breath to steady herself.

Well, she wasn't Barrani.

Her hope cut both ways.

XxXxX

The High Lord and the Consort sat at their thrones, watching as Kaylin and Andellen entered the throne room. Neither of them looked surprised to see them, which meant that news of Kaylin's condition had reached the Halls before now. Their eyes, however, were very blue, which was not a good thing. She approached the thrones with Andellen at her side, the both of them bowing to the Barrani monarchs—or rather, Andellen bowed. Kaylin managed as best as she could.

"…Lord Kaylin," said the High Lord as they rose. "Lord Andellen. What brings the two of you to the High Halls?"

"We have come to request a name for Lord Kaylin's child," replied Andellen, answering before she could open her mouth. She was grateful for it, since she wasn't sure exactly how well she could speak, given the circumstances.

"…Lord Kaylin's child?" asked the High Lord. "Not yours, I presume."

"Not mine," agreed Andellen. "My Lord's."

"You know the laws regarding Outcastes, Lord Andellen," said the High Lord. "That both you and Lord Kaylin are allowed to be here is unusual enough, but what reason would I have to provide the Outcaste with an heir?"

"Services rendered," replied Andellen coolly.

The High Lord's eyes moved over towards Kaylin. "…That debt has already been repaid. And even if it weren't, the good that Kaylin Neya has done for this Court, though not insignificant, has not outweighed the danger posed by the Outcaste."

Kaylin tightened her grip on the child at the High Lord's words, feeling anger course through her. She managed to refrain from blurting out anything damaging, but just barely. Her eyes traveled from the High Lord to the Consort. The Mother of the Barrani Race stood and watched her, her expression outwardly calm, but her blue eyes revealing the truth about how she felt in this situation. Her frown was tight-lipped, her hands folded on her lap, but her eyes, in this case, weren't the same dark blue as the High Lord's.

"...Lord Kaylin," she said, cutting off Andellen's rebuttal. "...Do you have something to say?"

The words 'No, Consort,' were on her lips. She considered them for a moment, before deciding against them. Now wasn't the time to bow to the High Lord's will. Not without letting herself be heard. Her child deserved at least that much.

"This isn't politics, Consort," she said, meeting the woman's eyes. She knew that the other woman would at least hear her out. "This is the life of a child. My daughter-," She almost choked on the word. "-hasn't done anything wrong."

"It is not what the child has done, Lord Kaylin," said the High Lord, answering her instead. "It is what the child may grow to do. Unless you agree to have the child removed from you-" His icy glare shortened her protest to a mere squeak. "-which I am aware you are not willing to do—there is no guarantee that the child will not be loyal to her father when she grows. He is Outcaste. He lives, as he does, _outside _of the High Halls and all the privileges they afford."

"_She _isn't Outcaste," Kaylin pointed out.

"No," said the High Lord, his eyes fixing on the bundle in her arms for a moment before looking up at Kaylin. "...But that does not mitigate our concerns. Even among the Barrani, children are...impressionable. I do not see any reason to accede to this request."

"...Even the potential benefits that gaining her loyalty might afford the Court?" The voice, this time, was Andellen's, and it came quietly. Kaylin glanced at him in surprise, remembering in time that he too was Barrani, and he was thinking as a Barrani as he faced the High Lord now.

"...Even then," replied the High Lord.

Kaylin took a deep breath and refrained from pointing out that they were arguing about the potential political loyalties of a child who hadn't even opened her eyes yet. Instead, she looked up at the thrones, using the one card she had been holding in reserve.

"...I am a Lord of the Court," she said.

"Yes," said the High Lord, his eyes fixing on her. "...And yet, you are with the Outcaste. Tell me something, Lord Kaylin. If I were to decide to have the Outcaste killed, would you support him or the Court?"

Kaylin lowered her head so that he wouldn't see her expression. She was glad she was holding the baby. If she wasn't, she might have clenched her fists. She didn't say what first came to mind—that if he could do it, it would obviously have already been done. Instead, she took a breath. "I would do what I had to," she said.

She heard Andellen shift beside her—or rather, she heard his armor—and realized that that had either been a very good way of evading the question or a very bad one. At the moment, she didn't have time to worry about which one it was.

"Hm. I am sure you would. And should you find yourself immortal by virtue of the name you hold? Can you guarantee the same loyalty one hundred years from now? Two hundred? One thousand?"

_Send me away empty handed, and hells no..._she thought.

She felt an undercurrent of something else answer the thought, and realized that Nightshade must have heard that. But she didn't dare respond, because it was always blatantly obvious to any Barrani when they were talking, and the High Lord was still speaking.

"...You hold more power than you can comprehend, Chosen," he said. "Purely as a mortal, you would already be a considerable threat. In a century or two, you would be formidable. That you are already in the Outcaste's hands is more than should be allowed. And there is no telling what power that child has inherited...from either of you. I cannot give him an heir."

Kaylin took a deep breath, feeling as though the wind had been sucked out of her. There was one thing left—one thing she could try—and though every fiber in her body told her it was a bad idea, she spoke it anyway.

"What do I have to do?" she asked.

The High Lord frowned at her for a moment, as if considering. Kaylin knew it to be a lie. Now, she knew that he had rehearsed this conversation in his mind before she even walked through the door. "Prove your loyalty," he said. "If I can be assured of _your _loyalty to the Court, I may make an exception."

"And how do I do that?" she asked, raising her head.

The High Lord exchanged a glance with the Consort. "Give one of us your name," he said.

She should have been shocked, but she had already expected something like this. Beside her, Andellen tensed, and she could see him warring with himself, debating whether or not to stop her. Kaylin swallowed hard, glancing down at the child in her arms. She slept on, unaware of the world, looking so peaceful as she lay there. Kaylin wondered if she dreamed.

...Giving her name to the High Lord or the Consort would mean putting herself at their mercy. It would mean that they would be able to compel her to do things—to stand against Nightshade, or their enemies, or anything they wanted. It would be imprisonment. It would be...

...It would be Barren all over again. Everything in her screamed against this, but...

She swallowed hard, looking down at the child again.

Her daughter deserved a chance, didn't she?

...Damn it, she deserved a chance.

Kaylin took a breath and raised her head again, the first syllable of her name forming on her tongue.

_Be silent, kyuthe. _

Kaylin tensed at the sudden intrusion, her eyes widening.

The voice in her head was _not _Nightshade.

Another figure stepped into the glade, and Kaylin's head whipped around. She already knew who it was, but she stared at him anyway, her eyes growing wider. Impossibly, the Lord of the West March stood before her, his eyes meeting hers for a moment before he walked past her, bowing in front of the throne.

"Brother, forgive the interruption," he said. "I have just arrived."

She couldn't find words, so instead she watched dumbly, her mind working through what had just happened as the High Lord's eyes landed on his brother.

_Lirienne._

He didn't react at the sound of his name, although Kaylin thought his shoulders might have tensed just a bit.

_Do not worry, kyuthe. _

"Rise..." said the High Lord after a while. The Lord of the West March did, straightening up and facing the throne. The High Lord did not look pleased. Neither did the Lord of the West March, although his eyes hovered in a state between green and blue. "Brother...I was not expecting you."

"I have been awayfrom Court too long," said the Lord of the West March. "Things were quiet in the West March. I thought to make a visit. I hope I have not interrupted anything."

"Not at all," said the High Lord, his eyes drifting over his brother's shoulders towards Kaylin. Or rather, towards the mark on her cheek. "...We were discussing what to do about Lord Kaylin's child."

"I couldn't help but hear," said the Lord of the West March. He gave a slightly apologetic smile. "My apologies, Brother. It was not a quiet discussion." His eyes drifted to Kaylin, before looking back up at her brother again. "If it pleases the High Lord," he said. "She may give her name to me."

The High Lord stared at his brother for a long tense moment before he spoke. "...It matters not," he said. "...As long as one of the three of us holds her name. Your loyalty, after all, has always been...unquestionable."

The Lord of the West March bowed, turning towards Kaylin. Kaylin took a deep breath, meeting his eyes.

_Lirienne..._she thought as he took a step closer to her.

_It is not the best solution, but it is the best that can be offered,_he said to her. _You hold my name. I cannot force you to do what you do not want to do—not without considerable difficulty on my part._

She nodded once. It made sense, and there was no time to argue. She had a feeling that if she did, or took too long, the High Lord would take his offer back.

_It is not...entirely unwarranted..._thought the Lord of the West March, his eyes meeting hers.

She didn't stop to think about it. If she did, she might not have done it.

_Ellariayn, _she said, meeting his eyes.

He nodded. He did not repeat the name. Instead, he looked up at his brother. "It is done," he said.

"Very well," said the High Lord. He nodded once at the Consort, who rose, beckoning for Kaylin to follow her. She followed, but only absently. Her feet knew the way, but her mind was elsewhere.

_Lirienne._

_Kyuthe. _

_...How did you know to come here? _

She could feel the Lord of the West March's smile in the back of her mind as she followed the Consort to the Lake, the precious bundle still tucked in her arms.

_One of these days, kyuthe, I will tell you the truth of the story of Nightshade, Andellen, and I. But for now, when you return, tell him something for me. _

_What? _she asked as she disappeared down the passageway, still feeling numb.

_Tell him...he won the bet. _

XxXxX

Kaylin had been to the Lake of Life several times before, but she never thought she would return to it this way. She watched as the Consort walked over to the edge of the water, still numbed by what had happened in the throne room. She was aware that she was about to see something that very few had ever seen, but she couldn't do much more than stand as the Consort knelt by the edge of her lake, reaching her hand into its depths.

"You are aware of how the naming goes?" asked the Consort, her voice cutting through the chamber. It was clear from her tone that she meant everything that had happened upstairs to go unsaid. Kaylin nodded once and tried to do the same.

"...You choose a name," she said. "Something that you think fits the child, and you give it to her."

"It is a gross oversimplification, but yes," said the Consort. "Understand, Lord Kaylin, that I cannot begin to imagine what fate awaits this child. Finding the right name will be...difficult. I suggest you sit."

Kaylin, not having anything better to do, sat. Here, in the heart of the High Halls, her senses of both Nightshade and the Lord of the West March were dimmed. It was just her here, her, the Consort, and her child. The minutes ticked away. She didn't know how long she sat there. She might have fallen asleep, but she wasn't quite sure.

After a while, she heard the Consort speak. She looked up, watching as the platinum-haired Barrani lifted a single word out of the water. It shimmered brightly beneath her touch, and Kaylin felt the marks on her arms and legs respond in kind, liquid fire tracing its way across her skin. The Consort's eyes were blue, the color she least wanted to see.

"This is it," she said. "But I cannot find it..."

"Find what?" asked Kaylin.

"The rest," said the Consort, her eyes narrowing in confusion. "It is...incomplete. I cannot-." She paused, and her eyes widened just a fraction as they fell on Kaylin's marks. Kaylin froze as well, looking down at them. One of the marks had risen off her skin, and it was shimmering gold in response to the word in the Consort's hands.

"Impossible," said the Consort.

Kaylin didn't know what to say, because she was fairly certain that it was demonstrably possible. Instead, she reached out a hand to the floating rune, cupping it in her palms. It was cool to the touch, almost like ice, but it flowed beneath her fingertips. She reached out, holding her breath as she held the rune out towards the Consort. The Consort, to her credit, hesitated only slightly, reaching out her hand as well.

The two words touched each other and connected, weaving into each other until it was impossible to tell where one started and the other began. It wasn't a word and a rune anymore. It was something else.

A name.

As Kaylin watched, the name flowed like water from the space between them, coming to rest on top of the child's head. It settled on top of her, wreathing her with a golden aura for a moment before slowly sinking into her. Then the light faded away, leaving nothing but Kaylin and the Consort, both of them staring down at the child.

For a moment, there was nothing but stillness and silence. And then, Kaylin felt the bundle in her arms stir and draw one slow breath. As she watched, her breath catching in her throat, the infant's eyes slowly fluttered open, revealing a deep emerald green. They looked up at her for a moment, regarding her with the same trust and innocence shown by all children, and Kaylin felt her heart melt.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **This is just a short little chapter to wrap things up. This scene didn't really feel like it fit into the end of the last chapter, so I decided to add it here. I was considering doing a one-shot series following _Erenne_, and exploring the situation with the child a little bit more (as well as the explanation for her casual name) if you guys would be interested in that.

Thanks so much for supporting this story!

**Disclaimer:**I do not own the Chronicles of Elantra. They belong to Michelle Sagara.

XxXxX

**CHAPTER 13**

The carriage ride back was significantly less somber, although it was still just as quiet. Kaylin almost didn't notice Andellen's contemplative silence—she was too busy being enthralled by the baby. The child—they really needed to come up with a name for her—didn't act like most infants Kaylin had seen before. For one, she wasn't bawling. She occasionally shifted inside the cloth she was wrapped in and occasionally made small sounds, but she hadn't started to fuss yet, and her eyes, as they glanced from Kaylin to everything in her field of vision, remained a bright emerald green. They were alert and watchful, in a way that most newborn humans' eyes weren't, but there was an innocence about her that she had never associated with adult Barrani.

Or many adult humans, for that matter.

She wondered if the child's eyes could change color, and realized that they could after the carriage struck a bump in the road at a rather alarming pace, sending the baby's eyes closer to the blue range. She also opened her mouth and started to make noises of protest, at which point Kaylin quickly cradled her to her chest and muttered words of reassurance before she could prove her wrong on that whole no bawling thing.

But the child's eyes were green as they reached the bridge of the Ablayne, and were back to a happy, if somewhat curious, emerald as Andellen reached over and paid the driver a few more coins to actually enter the fief. The luxury made her squirm, surrounded by so many who had so much less, but on some level she was grateful for it. Whatever strength she had summoned seemed to have left her after her discussion in the High Halls. She wasn't sure she would have made it to the Castle from the bridge.

Nightshade was waiting when the carriage pulled up outside of the Castle, watched by hundreds of unseen eyes from within the buildings that bordered it. As she stepped out of the carriage, flanked by Andellen and with her daughter in her arms, his eyes fixed on her. His face was a mask of neutrality—his eyes, even more so. But she could sense the subtle question that he held at bay as she walked up to him. She wouldn't have sensed it before, but last night's events had done something to her bond—had strengthened it somehow. She wondered at the implications, but had other things on her mind at the moment.

"Your errand was successful?" he asked. If it hadn't been for the weight he placed behind his words, she would think that he was asking her about a trip to market, or an investigation she had been called to attend in the middle of the night. Andellen kept a respectful distance, on the pretense of sending the carriage away. Privately, Kaylin thought the carriage driver didn't need any extra pushing.

"It was..." she said. And then, not knowing what else she could possibly say, she reached out, holding the child out to him.

Nightshade did not hesitate. He never hesitated. But there was a certain deliberate slowness to the way he picked up the bundle from her, letting it rest across his arm like he knew how—but didn't. He looked down, and from within, the child studied this new arrival, her green eyes bright as one of her arms escaped the cloth wrapping. She made a small noise. Nightshade watched her with deliberate silence, and as Kaylin watched, he picked up the arm, tucking it back into the blankets.

"Cian," he finally said, turning away from her. "The child is to be called Cian."

Kaylin nodded mutely. She was sure she would have had something to say, probably asking him why he had chosen that particular name. But whatever she was about to say died in her throat, as she caught a brief glimpse of Nightshade's eyes before he turned away from her fully, wordlessly offering her an arm as he strode towards the portal.

They were gold.

XxXxX

"Do you think you could look this witness reports over for me, dear? They don't seem to agree."

"Sure. I'll get on that," said Kaylin, accepting the sheaf of papers from Caitlin. The motherly Hawk looked a little older than she had a few years ago, but other than that, the atmosphere of the office hadn't really changed. People were still milling around talking, exchanging rumors, and contributing to the office betting pool. She smiled faintly, setting the report down on her desk and letting her eyes trail across the office until they fixed on the small, dark-haired figure seated in the far corner, scribbling something down on a piece of paper.

Kaylin frowned. Cian's eyes were green, she was being quiet and out of the way, and she had, for all intents and purposes, a look of intense concentration on her face.

That worried her.

"Cian, what are you doing?" she asked.

Cian looked up, flashing Kaylin a brilliant smile. "Drawing," she said, innocently.

Alright, now she was _definitely _concerned. Kaylin gave the area around the child a cursory inspection. Nothing seemed to be broken, and no one appeared to be sporting any marks of an ill-timed practical joke, so she decided to let this one go. She did, after all, have a report to read.

The door opened as she was on the third page, and she looked up as Severn stepped in front of her, blocking her light.

"What's Cian doing?" he asked casually as he leaned against the desk.

"Drawing, apparently," said Kaylin, glancing over at the child. She still hadn't moved, although she did pause to straighten out the simple blue dress she was wearing. Severn glanced at her as well before looking back at Kaylin. He folded his arms, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah," said Kaylin, "I'm not buying it either." She set aside the report, looking up at Severn. "How's Kaden?"

"Doing well," said Severn. He frowned, glancing at the girl who was calmly etching in a line on the corner of her paper. "He says Cian promised to show him her glass roof."

"Oh boy," said Kaylin, looking up at her partner. "You explained-."

He nodded. "I explained that the Castle isn't a place that normally accepts visitors," he said.

"Well, maybe we can work something out," said Kaylin, frowning. "Cian needs to talk to people her own age more."

The look Severn gave her was one that told her just what he thought about sending his ten-year-old son into Castle Nightshade. It was one that was completely understandable, given the circumstances. She would have been more worried, if the Castle didn't seem to take some sort of unnatural liking to Cian.

Hence the glass roof. Apparently, it had picked up on the fact that Cian really, really wanted to see the stars from her bedroom.

She gripped the reports a little tighter. She wasn't _jealous_, of course. I mean, just because the Castle still decided it could rearrange her belongings and hide her socks in various odd places while letting Cian keep her bedroom in whatever state of disarray she desired, it didn't give her any reason to be jealous of a nine-year-old girl.

The look Severn gave her reminded her that she was still very much an open book, although she personally thought she was getting better.

"...Ready to go?" he asked, as the mirror sounded out the time.

She nodded, setting down her report. She would finish reading it tomorrow. As she gathered up her things, Cian gathered up her papers, smiling slightly as she set them down on the desk. She gathered up her dress, her face composing itself for a moment as she bowed at Severn.

"Lord Severn," she said.

Kaylin blinked in surprise. Severn, true to form, didn't show his own surprise or amusement, he just nodded once, as if half-Barrani children bowed at him every day. "Cian," he said.

She straightened up. "How was that?" she asked, in Elantran."Father's been teaching me. He says I need to learn Court etiquette sometime."

"It was good," said Severn, giving her a small smile. "A little flippant, though."

Cian frowned. "More serious. Okay. I'll practice on Andellen later—Lord Andellen," she quickly amended.

As they walked out the door, she glanced at the duty roster. It had been updated for next week—she and Severn would be back on Elani Street after the street closures the week before. She was relieved at that. It was good to get out of the office once in a while.

Severn walked them to the bridge. There was no Barrani guard waiting to greet them outside, so Kaylin assumed that it was safe—or as safe as the fiefs would ever be likely to get. But she kept a hold on Cian's hand anyway, just in case her daughter had any ideas about running off into the crowd.

"When have you been having your etiquette lessons?" she asked as they walked, glancing down at the child. Cian's eyes were elsewhere, mostly focused on the street children that watched her cautiously from within the buildings. They knew who she was, of course, and that alone stopped them from approaching her. Kaylin frowned, realizing something almost like hunger in Cian's eyes. She made a mental note to ask Nightshade if Kaden could come over one day.

The girl looked up, turning towards her mother. "At night, mostly," she said. "I don't need the whole night's sleep, so sometimes I go to the library. Sometimes Father's there too. Andellen teaches me once in a while—and sometimes when you're at work."

Kaylin frowned in curiosity. "Is it just etiquette you talk about?" she asked.

The girl shook her head in response. "No," she said. "Sometimes we just read. He taught me how to play chess the other day. Apparently it's good practice."

"I'm sure," said Kaylin dryly.

"Is there still a betting pool about that Hawk and Sword—Milla and...whats-his-name?"

"-Terrence," supplied Kaylin. She frowned. "Yes, it's still going on."

"Did you place a bet?" asked Cian.

"No," said Kaylin, frowning in suspicion. "Why?"

"They're making up," said Cian with a slight grin.

Kaylin blinked. "How do you know that?" she asked.

In response, Cian tapped the side of her face. "Thin walls, sharp ears," she said.

The corner of the room. Drawing. Suspiciously near the door. Of course. Kaylin frowned. On one hand, there was something fundamentally wrong about using your child to win a bet. On the other...

"...Are the odds good?" asked Cian.

"Everyone's betting on them splitting up," replied Kaylin.

Cian's response was to grin. "I want a sword," she said.

"What?" asked Kaylin, glancing down at her.

"With your winnings. I want a sword," she repeated.

Kaylin frowned, shaking her head. "You're too young for a sword," she said.

"Am not," said Cian. "I've been practicing. And I want one."

"Ask your father."

"He'll say I'm too young," said Cian, rolling her eyes. "And then he'll get me another dress. Or a necklace or something." She made a face. "I don't _want_ jewelry. I want a sword."

Kaylin almost laughed at the serious look on Cian's face. She placed a hand on her head, ruffling her hair. It was a shade less perfect than Barrani hair—which meant it occasionally got tangled. Cian made a noise of protest, wriggling out of Kaylin's grip and trying to fix it. She put on her most dignified injured expression.

"I was being serious," she said.

"No swords," said Kaylin. "You're bad enough without any pointy objects. Besides, you only started training a year ago. And you're _nine_. What do you need one for?"

Cian frowned, but said nothing. She lowered her eyes, and Kaylin recognized that she was quietly sulking. "...Will you at least make Clint fly me around?" she asked, as they neared the Castle.

Kaylin smiled. Some days, she remembered that there was a little bit of herself in Cian. Nightshade, of course, insisted he saw it all the time. Particularly when she was being troublesome. It was at those times that she resisted the urge to point out that one of them was an officer of the Imperial Law and still in good standing in the High Halls and the other was not.

"Maybe," she said. "If you ask."

"Will Lord Tiamaris?" asked Cian.

"Don't push it," said Kaylin. They neared the Castle. Nightshade, as usual, was waiting outside. His eyes were green today—a good sign.

"_Erenne_," he said as they reached them. The mark on her cheek pulsed with warmth, and she found herself smiling. He was smiling as well, his eyes meeting hers.

"Nightshade," she said.

"Hello, Father," said Cian, suddenly polite.

"Cian," said Nighshade, nodding once at her. "You may go on ahead, if you wish. Dinner has been prepared."

Cian smiled, nodding once and walking through the portal. Kaylin stared after her, trying to disguise the look of longing on her face. It was there, mostly because although the portal no longer made her completely nauseous and disoriented, it had a tendency to do so at the strangest times. Whatever grudge the Castle held against her apparently didn't apply to Cian.

"I trust there were no difficulties?" asked Nightshade, offering her an arm. She took it.

"None," said Kaylin, grinning. "I think Cian helped me win the office betting pool, though."

"I see," said Nightshade. "Did she observe in a way that was entirely too obvious?"

"It was obvious to me and Severn that she was up to something," said Kaylin. "But we know her. I don't think anyone else really noticed. Well—Teela. And maybe Marcus. Mostly the others just found her cute."

"Well, it is admittedly an improvement."

Kaylin didn't comment on that—mostly because he chose that moment to walk through the portal.

_You may not approve, but those skills will protect her in the future, _said Nightshade in her mind as the portal deposited them onto the other side. _She will not be immune to the machinations of Court forever. _

The moment it deposited them on the other side, Cian looked up. She was leaning against the door, a grin on her face as they arrived. She took Nightshade's hand and he let her, releasing Kaylin to lead her towards the dining hall.

Kaylin lingered behind them, smiling slightly as she watched them. She still remembered her worries—about Cian and her place between fief and City, about Nightshade and the their tenuous future, and about the game that Cian was probably going to grow to play. But that was in the future. For now, they had this.

Cian had a Castle that would give her a glass roof because she wanted to see the sky. She had a group of Barrani guards who Kaylin was convinced were hiding their amusement at her antics on any given day. She had a protective Barrani Lord who watched her constantly while she roamed the Castle and occasionally talked to her about etiquette. She had an entire brood of aunts and uncles on the other side of the river, all of whom wore the Imperial Hawk, and had an open invitation from Tara to visit the Tower of Tiamaris. She had a closet full of dresses she almost never wore and food on the table, and a human friend who was just savvy enough to know when she was trying to get them both into trouble. And she had a father who taught her to lie and observe and keep the truth of things to herself, so that she wouldn't get herself killed when she matured and stepped into the thick of Barrani politics.

It wasn't a conventional childhood by any means.

But it was enough.

Nightshade glanced at the girl at his side as they walked. She was content to follow for now, a smile on her face and her eyes fixed on him. Kaylin understood through the bond between them that Nightshade knew it wouldn't last—it was only a matter of time before she began to rebel, to attempt to strike her own path and play her own games.

But for now, she felt his willingness to let that be, and to accept her childish trust for what it was. She felt it in the somewhat indulgent smile on his face, as he turned towards her.

"Tell me, Daughter," he said. "about your day."

**THE END**


	14. Sequel Notice

**A/N: **So, the one-shot series isn't up yet, because I had this plot bunny regarding Cian that wouldn't go away. That said, a direct sequel to _Erenne _is up. It's called _Fiefling_, and can be found in the _Chronicles of Elantra _directory. Thank you so much for all your reviews and support, it's appreciated.


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